When The Truth Comes Out

Chapter 17

I closed the door to Landon's room quickly; you could say I'm panicking. Inside the room, just beside my sinking shoulders, is a man who can barely stand because he can't feed his addiction. It's pathetic, really. I didn't really have a reaction to be brutal. But I did have this thought deep in the back of my brain, that this could in some way effect our child. I had been through all the phases: shocked, scared, alone, denial... Only I hadn't reached the consequence yet. The consequence of knowing that I was finally sure that I was alone. My sister doesn't want it. My brother hasn't spoken to me since he stumbled upon my trash, and Landon flocked to drugs. The part that didn't make sense is how he became addicted so quickly, I just recently told him and now he's addicted to cocaine? It doesn't add up, and the longer I thought about the more my brain swelled.

I could hear the low mumbled of his conspiring pain even on the other side of the door. I faced the wall and cooled my face on the cold white paint. I feared the paint would run, since my tears made the wall helplessly wet. I couldn't go back in there; not when he constantly writhed a cry of pain. I held a deep regret for ever knowing Landon, but his agony still hurt me inside. Or. My baby had some crazy connection toward him. They say a dog can tell when you're pregnant, or sense when you have cancer. So why couldn't the baby tell who its father is?

But his lying? And his deceiving? It has to stop somewhere doesn't it? I'm entitled to think that this is most certainly the end of us. I won't have a drug addicted person in my life, even if I can't stand to see him this way. There's nothing I can do but set a barrier from him and myself and from my child. Our child.

My knees felt weakened, as if my heart was shutting my body down. My mouth was dry, my palms were sweating, my knees were wobbly, and my vision was blurring. I can't keep it together. No matter the lengths I went there would always be destruction at the end of the tunnel.

I straightened myself up anyway and stretched the wrinkles from my shirt. I couldn't just leave though, I'm a coward but I wouldn't leave him wondering. Not in his shape. Maybe it was more for my own self-comfort; not that it even mattered.

I was prepared to knock, but my knuckles fell short. Time after time my brain intercepted. Until I twisted the knob.

"Landon?" I questioned as my fingers trembled on the handle. I would have asked; begged for his attention but his peaceful snore echoed off every hollow space in the room. So I took advantage of his slumber. My vulnerability is endless these days. I walked to his desk and ran my fingers down the books stacked neatly at the corner. Wuthering Heights, Lord of the Flies, Moby, and the Odyssey: Homer. I pulled the chair out and sat down with my elbows on my knees.

"Landon, I don't-I don't know if you can hear me. In your dreams? Or in your subconscious-er unconscious state. But I want you to know that I resent you. The longer I'm carrying your baby... It's just so hard. And you scream and you yell and I'm still pregnant. I'm fifteen; with a GPA above 3.5. This isn't fair. It's a burden. After today I don't -I know that I can't see you anymore. I've looked into these things. A family can take this baby and raise better than any of us could. You're addicted to drugs. And I'm 15, it's stupid. We were stupid. Maybe you'll change, but most likely you won't. My dad always told me to trust your gut and forget what your heart has to say. This is me saying screw the heart." Tears began to fall to my knees, and my nose watered. I sniffled every two seconds. My voice finally broke into a son of some sort.

"And I don't know if this is the right decision, but I'm so lost Landon. I'm so alone and nobody takes my situation lightly. I'm at a bridge with deathly whispers in my ear. I have to stop somewhere. ... And that somewhere is here-with you." I stood from the chair and walked to his bedside. His hair was an unruly mess and his face was glued to the front side of his pillow. A heap of drool spreading. I took his hand and held it with both of mine.

"You're just a mess." I wasn't one to confront people too often. In fact I was taking advantage of him. But what would I say if he had been conscious? I'd had chickened out and I know it.

I let go of his hand and watched it fall at a limp. I cracked to door open and looked back one more time. I was a hopeless romantic... Drowning in a pond of emotions. Just as I was leaving the room I heard a whispers. I closed my eyes tight and waited.

"I won't let you..." He huffed out.

"What?" I inhaled without an exhale. His words caught deep in my throat.

"It's my kid too, even if I am worthless," he exasperated.

"I'm sorry," I replied and fastened the door shut. I held my hand at my mouth and sobbed like never before. What a grave I've prepared for myself.

😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

"So the school is finally going through with it!" Amber examined through the receiver. "We're being separated. These Catholic politicians are so clueless. Like, they think removing the guys from the school is going to stop pregnancy? If I was anymore spiteful I'd up and get pregnant." She erupted into an annoying laughter. Yes, laugh it up sister. It's so hilarious.

"At least it'll stop the public indecency. Informal touching. You know." I replied twirling my locks between my fingers.
"Your mother never should have enrolled into a private school. You're so misguided Mace."

"You can say that again," I mumbled.

"You're so misguided? Mace is there something you're keeping bottled up? "

"No I'm just agreeing with popular belief."

"Ugh, make the mechanics stop!"

"Oh hush. You asked for my opinion."

"And unsupported opinion! Dear God they've ruined my best friend!"

"Ha-ha, listen I've got to get some sleep so I'm hanging up."

"Always so stately," she argued.

"Good night," I retaliated. I flipped on my back and set my phone on my nightstand. I just stared at the ceiling for minutes on end. Everything was changing more and more with each uncomfortable breath.

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Finally found my Amber! I love Google.
Check her out in the media bin above ^^^^^