Kaleidoscope of Emotions

I, Reliever

April 23, 2020- May 2, 2020

"Please segregate these papers according to their copies: Original Copy, Customer's Copy, Record Center's Copy, and Hauler's Copy."

"Excuse me, sir. I'll also put a stamp here, sir?"

"Sir, what will I do with those papers that you gave to me the last day?"

"You know how to do the LME?"

"No, ma'am. What's LME?"

"Sir, I can't find the LME numbers for the last three invoice numbers."

"Good morning, ma'am!"

"Ma'am, please summarize the things that we should practice to avoid being infected with COVID-19."

"This is wrong. You should not put a stamp."

"Inday, please find and attach the Hauler's Copy for these invoices."

"You have a nice handwriting."

"Inday, eat your lunch first."

"You can encode the mails here. It will be less hassle."

"Okay, ma'am."

"Okay, sir. Thank you!"

Shocks! What if I'll mess up this time!? What if he will get mad at me for mixing the papers with the other copies!? Where would I put these Credit Note- Sales!? I forgot! Oh God! What should I do with these!?

Anxiety was silently screaming in my mind while the coldness from the air conditioner embraced my skin. All I could hear was the continuous clicks from the keyboard and mouse; papers coming in and out from the printer; and, the ringing of the telephones. I remembered the days when I was just having my normal routine when all of a sudden, I became a reliever of one of the workers in Petron Corporation. At first, I was really having a doubt whether to accept the job or not. I was thinking that my capabilities were not enough; that if ever I'll accept the job, I will be the youngest, perhaps, and inexperienced person there; and lastly, I am afraid to create mistakes and be judged. It took me how many minutes before I found the reasons and courage to take a step towards the path of dubiety.

I started my work being rigid. I was being a perfectionist for them to not point out any mistakes from my work. My words were concise and my actions were calculated. I felt alone inside the office with some unfamiliar people, but I continued my journey by thinking of my goal to be independent. Whenever I am confused, I asked God for guidance. The mistakes that I committed disappoints me, but I thought that I'll receive learnings from it that'll help me to improve. Every mistakes I made slowly pulled down my confidence, but when I remembered whose daughter I am, I would pick up every pieces of my shattered confidence and put it back together with a stronger bond of courage. Honestly, I didn't think of working just because of money, but for the reason that I wanted to prove something for myself; I wanted to have experience. Amidst the pandemic virus, I am glad to help the skeletal workforce for a short period of time. With that, I've received lots of learnings and realizations that could help me in the future.

What happened on or between those days will serve as a reminder for me to not limit myself from doing things. Even if everyone around me would underestimate me and would say that I couldn't do something, I would held my head up high and just trust myself. If everyone else would leave me, I will never leave myself; I will not bring myself down. Even if I am in doubt to enter the huge waves of uncertainty, I should not be afraid to row my boat towards the storm of life and reality.