Hard to Escape

Chapter 1

The sunlight was just right. I was cheerlessly sitting in an electric-powered wheelchair.

"I heard the brain surgeon, Dr. Chen, say that you remembered things from your past today? Isn't this something worthy of being happy about?" My psychologist pushed her glasses up and looked at me with an encouraging and affectionate gaze. This fits well with her white coat and the records tracking a patient's medical case which never left her hands. She appeared as someone who was specialized in making others trust her.

She saw that I was not responding and simply lowered her head to begin writing in her diagnostic and treatment book. I stretched my neck and saw at the top, a line of bold, cursive characters, "The patient refuses to speak. Isn't good with social contact with others. After the loss of memories, her outlook on the world has collapsed. There wasn't enough time to rebuild it, leading to the rise of a self-identity crisis. Holds enmity towards the surroundings to hold onto and protect her ego."

Afterward, be sure of herself, she consoled me: "You don't have to feel defeated. Even if you've only recalled a very small piece today, isn't this always a sign of progress for the better?" I lowered my eyes. She took this as a sign of success and decided to take advantage of this and pursue, "Besides, people need to live at ease. They don't have to get in a tangle over what has happened in the past. Losing your memories might even be a sort of enlightenment, letting you live a completely new life. For example, right now you might not even recognize a past lover. Why bother being attached to him when this dead relationship would only make both sides suffer?"

I let out a yawn, finally unable to continue listening. This young female psychologist's interest in my fiancee was greater than mine. For three continuous weeks, she hadn't been deeply committed to aiding me in regaining my memories. Rather, she had earnestly advised me to renounce my past, look forward to the future and go look for my spring. Furthermore, she had arbitrarily asserted that I refused to speak and that I was suffering from a serious mental illness.

Four months ago, I was in a car accident. At the time I was sent to this hospital, I was covered in blood. One rib was broken and there were three fractures on my legs, most of which was on my left leg. Due to excessive blood loss and the long period in which my wounds were exposed to the air, by the time I had entered the hospital, there were already signs of infection. I had already lost consciousness and had a fever. According to regulations, the safest method to ensure that my life would be saved was amputation. At the last moment, the head doctor unexpectedly took a risk out of desperation and insisted on not amputating. During the rescue process, I had entered critical condition three times. In the end, in an unexpectedly miraculous manner, I had stabilized.

After I woke up, not only was my body covered all over with scars, but I had lost all of my memories as well.

The head doctor told me that I had nearly woken up once on the operating table. It was also because of that one time that made him willing to change his mind and preserve my leg on my behalf. "I didn't expect you to wake up. The circumstances were not looking too well. I had already put on my surgical mask and gloves. You had pulled at the hem of my clothes and told me that I had to keep your leg. Only after I had agreed and given you a shot of anesthesia did your hand let go of my clothes."

"What did I say at that time?"

"You said, 'That is my life and without my leg, I'd rather die.' Tsk tsk. In my entire lifetime, I will never forget the expression you had at that moment. Such ferocity." Finished speaking, he put on an act of shaking his head for a while. "Of course, although your strong will power was one factor, my surgical abilities were the true dominating factor. Ah, Mr. Yin has come. I was just about to go to attend a meeting. I won't disturb the two of you." He sent a wink at me and only then did this head doctor leave while happily laughing.