How Autumn Ended Summer (Seven Rings Series #1) - COMPLETED

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"Are you sure you're okay, Faerrah?" I already lost count on how many times does dad ask me this question and how many times I did say I'm fine but honestly? I am really not. I'm far from being fine.

"Your friends are downstairs. I should send them here so you would have someone to talk to.."

I shook my head and stare at the window where the sunlight was coming from. It was the only light I'm seeing right now. Everything around me is just pure darkness. I'm just bringing darkness to them, especially to Levi.. and his family. The light that I thought I shouldn't be seeing anymore. I don't deserve it.

Never in my life that I thought of something like this. But at this point of my life? I can't help but to think of just letting myself to be lured by the darkness. I thought of reaching the bottom of it. What is it like? What does it feel like? Does it end the pain I'm feeling right now?

"Fayre.." I heard Raffy's voice from behind but I didn't bother to take a glance. I heard numerous footsteps behind my back.

"Are you okay?"

That question again. I wanted to shout at them. Napapagod na ako. Nakakapagod pa lang sabihin na okay ka lang kahit alam mo sa sarili mo na hindi talaga.

I nodded lightly not breaking the stare from my window. I'm really not sure where I'm looking at. My thoughts aren't really clear since then. Since I fully remember what happened that night.

"Fayre... We brought your favorite food." Savy said behind my back and caressed my shoulders. I slowly felt several set of arms around me, hugging me.

Napapikit ako at tuluyan nang umagos ang luha sa mga mata ko. The hug is like a trigger to my seized emotions.

"Whatever you're going through, I'm sure you can walk past it. You are a strong woman, Fayre. Kung ano man 'yan, pwede mong sabihin sa amin. Maybe we can help you."

I wish it was that easy to open up. It was never easy for me do that. Even if they are the closest to my heart, it's fucking hard especially in my most vulnerable state.

"I'm fine. I know." I managed to say even if I don't really mean it.

They all stayed until I get to sleep. Nightmares continuosly peeks into my mind but this time, it was bearable because I remember it thoroughly with the help of my therapist. But the guilt inside me still resides and it's only a matter of time before it could kill me.

"Where are you going, Fayre?" Raffy asked. Nagulat ako dahil nasa kwarto ko na siya bigla. Galing ako sa closet ko and I'm all dressed up because I am going to my therapist.

"Therapist."

"What really happened, Fayre? I cannot bear to see you like this. Nahihirapan din ako. Can you please tell me??"

I bit my lip to supress the tears coming out from my eyes again. Raffy looked like she was gonna cry and knowing Raffy, she's isn't the person who likes to show her true feelings. She isn't the type of person that cries over a small thing.

I started telling her and it was hard. It's like I'm opening up a wound that's not yet even started to heal. She started to cry while I'm telling her what I remember that night up to what happened on Levi's grandfather.. that it was my fault that he almost died.. and how I broke up Levi with a note. It feels painful but I kinda feel relieved that I can tell someone what really happened..

Raffy hugged me tightly. Bigla akong nahilo pero hindi ko na pinansin at niyakap na lang siya pabalik.

"You could've told me sooner.. How can you not yoir problems to your bestfriend? I know I'm not really the friend who gives you advice but I'm always here for you."