chatroulette's stranger

Chapter fifteen : Try a little nostalgia

I was walking toward Esteban's car, and i was lost in my thoughts, what if that Laken hadn't come and that bastard did something to me ? what if Cassie saw us and thought the wrong thing ? what if esteban did ?

don't waste your time with what if's, it's gone ...that's what i have been repeating to myself on and on but i just felt like crying, locking myself in a room and cry,he hadn't really go that far but it's as if he did, how could he ? he was with Cassie...

Esteban was eyeing me weirdly , i wanted to smile at him so he could just relax and ocus on driving but i couldn't , i wanted him to hug metightly and warmly , i just needed that small act so i can feel secure again, i was always that girl who was always so sure of herself but now it's like this shield i've built arround myself was torn.

I was deep in my thoughts and Esteban broke the silence and said :

"what is it ? did something happen ?" 

i looked at him so i can answer , but realised tears were going to fall, i didn't want to , i never cried in front of people , why start now. I quickly muttered an " nothing , don't worry"  and turned my head looking at the boulevard we were driving in.

How ...?

Once we arrived, and he parked the car, i tried to flee as quick as i could from the questions , he i was sure was going to ask, i hurried up the stairs but then remembered i couldn't use my room yet, but i didn't want to see anyone, i noticed a small balcony with a wooden ladder , i headed there and saw that it led to the roof, i wanted to go there, i felt that it would make me escape and breath some fresh air. i tried putting a leg on it and it seemed pretty strong one, so i continued until i arrived to the roof , i sat and looked at the sunset, it was orange and pink at the same time, a pretty pink nostalgic orange ,did it even exist ? yes, then it did, nature was indeed breathtaking...

I looked at my left and noticed my house, well what was my house, i missed caleb, i missed everything, i loved living with esteban but i miss my brother, the only family i had left, at this levl i was already crying, silent tears pouring, and watching the stars appear one by one through my blurry vision, time quickly passed and night had settled when i heard some noise : Esteban was climbing up th ladder . He sat next to me and then i felt warm, he had put a blanket on our backs,

"It's really beautiful, isn't it ?" he murmured in awe 

"Yes it is...i love astronomy, there was a time i wanted to be an astonaut, so i could plenty savour this beauty we have the chance to see every night, but then caleb didn't let me, he said it would be dangerous ,that he would miss me and that he'll be spnding his time worrying about me," i smiled and then continued " i remember one day, he accused me of trying to make him have white hair before his thirties" he was weirdly listening to me , looked concerned , he had this amazing ability to make people want to tell him and every single detail in their life, as if he would be able to change what's already happened

" you miss him , right ?" he asked , " yes" i answered so low that i wondered if he had really hear me," you could always call him or meet him "

"No i can't, it'll be dangerous , we need to keep away so he and i can be safe , otherwise they'll get us " he really made me want to spill everything out. I kept looking at the moon, trying to think about something else, not let those tears fall, but i was miserably failing.

I felt his thumb brush the tears awayfrom my cheeks, then he kissed me, softly. Our second kiss, it was magic, it was better than the first one, like we were flying between the stars and the moon, becoming part of the stories of all the constellations, once he broke apart to breath, he looked at me intently with those hazel eyes of his , and handed me his phone.

"Take it, and call him, just dont cry" he told me, i wanted to show him how much, his move meant to me, but i couldn't express anything, so i just hugged him tightly, thanking him or just taking this chance to have this hug i've been waiting for, that comfort i seek, it didn't really matter, i had him in my arms, that's what mattered .

After few minutes, i let go of him and dialed Caleb's number.

"Hello ?" oh , he doesn't have esteban's number.

"it's me bro" do not freaking cry !! he has enough to worry about.

"damnit, Mel, how have you been ? are you okay ? whose phone is this ?" 

"nice to hear you again, i'm fine , perfectly fine, and it's Esteban's number, i missed you and needed to hear your voice , that's all, don't worry "

" You know i missed you too, more than, you think but we need to stay like that for some time, i'm sorry, you're my little sister , i don't even want you living with any other guy, but we have to do this , so everyone can be safe, how was school ?" he asked 

oh no , he will for sure know that something's wrong, " it was...pretty special "

" why is that ?

"Eum, well, things happened...that's all" no don't sob!! even Esteban was eyeing me awkwardly at this level

"Amelia, i hear some noise, where are you ?"

"i'm sitting on the roof with Esteban"

"tell me what's wrong, i know you always try to isolate yourself when you're sad"

"nothing Caleb, i just wanted to look at the stars, that's all"

"O-kay , Mel, i'll be coming to see you as soon as i can, don't worry, and please give Esteban the phone, i need to tell him something" he said

" okay, i will , i love you Caleb, and say hi to Vanessa for me" then i handed Esteban the phone, and told him," he wants to talk to you". He took it, and said few words like :" hi...yeah...okay, i got it" this is definetely weird !!

"what is it ?" i asked him, he took my hand in his and stared at the dark infinite, i thought he wouldn't answer until, he said slowly, " what happened at school ?" i couldn't answer i didn't want to make a big deal out of it and it was going to be just fine if i let it go as if nothing happened, i opened my mouth to let a small nothing out of it, but he hushed me before and said " please , just tell me, trust me" he was begging me to bug him with my problems, well that's pretty unique...but i had to be true, i didn't want to lie , " someone bothered me " quick and vague.

"who was it ? " just drop it !

we looked at each other few seconds, him trying to see through me and i trying to find a gentle way to tell him what happened.

"It was Steven..." please, just let it go...

"oh, what did he do or say that bothered you ?" he continued

should i tell him ? 

Yes...i can't lie.

"He made a move on me " i murmured very slowly

"He what ? why didn't you tell me ? i could have help , or just beat the living shit out of him " he said a little bit too loudly 

"Well you couldn't hear me and i couldn't get away fom him...so..." i explained 

" but if you couldn't how did you come when i was waiting ?" he asked 

Oh no !! "Laken came "

he repeated laken again, very slowly as if he was trying to process everything , i told him .

" I can't believe you didn't even trust me with such an important thing, as your safety ...but obviouly you do trust Laken !"

I was stunned, a part of me knew he was right to think things that way but it was not what i intented to make him feel, i didn't know what to say, but i didn't really have time to, because minutes later, he ordered : " let's get back in " , yes , he ordered , very coldly . How will i fix this , now ?