Why are some things so desirable? So tantalizing? So enticing? There’s no way to resist the pull they have on you. Then there are other things. Things so terrible you want to run from them. And these are the things that we cannot escape from. What more is that these things…together, combined. They are the things that make up one scary concept.
There’s no way to hide from these daunting thoughts, though at the same time I want to embrace them. Which to do? A never ending game of hide and or seek…Tick tock goes the clock, what now shall we play… the life of a child seems so sweet. So why is this concept so cruel as to take that away? How can our carers bare to watch those pleasantries fade from our eyes? And so I run. I run from these terrible things and yet I run towards them. I run to the irresistible cycle of a concept and run from it. Which is which?
…Tick Tock goes the clock until the day… I have no inkling what this fate waiting at the end of my run will be, though I know my run will end one day and others will run on further. Though in the meantime, what do I run from and why do I run to it? It’s a circle. A never ending circle. Through and through. A circle consisting of all and nothing. Nothing seems the more pleasant, kinder answer. After all who would want to know or possess all? You would no longer have a purpose or a drive for the journey. There is no thing, living or otherwise, that would make the run without the drive. And a hard journey it is. How can I withstand the pressure? A thousand feet under and still conscious? Holding the immense pressure of the sky? So low yet so high? I bare a curse such as Atlas, though mine I bare in secret and it makes me run. I run towards nothing at all and to all.
… Tick Tock goes the clock and all the years they cry… The prospect of finally escaping this clandestine curse drives me. But what will I find? Will those lost years of childhood ever return? Those years of pretending to be something I’m not? A Blue bird soaring high above. A beautiful dolphin of the glorious oceans. A servant of Ma ’at. All these things I may dream of, though a tear comes to eye as the memory fades to grey. Tarnished by the load I bare, pulling me spurring me onwards, yet only taking me back. I resist the pull though I embrace it. It drags me away yet I always find my way back. It’s like the moons luminosity reflecting from the star consistently coming back, or the oceans tide. Constantly swaying in and out. Or the wind pulling, pushing and tumbling over and over. Though it makes no sense to me.
And so I get pulled in. In to nothing at all and all. …Tick Tock goes the clock… but what does that really mean? It’s just another difficult concept, one of many layered over the most prestigious of ones. The one I’ll never understand. The one humans won’t ever give up though all want to escape when the realise like me they’re no longer sure that is a good thing. So enticing, so tantalizing so desirable, yet so terrible, so cruel, so forbidding. It pushes and pulls us. It takes us in a never ending circle. It crushes us and drives us.
It’s life.
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Note by author- This is intended to be vague and a streaming of unconscious thought in a way. It’s supposed to challenge you to think as you read to keep up or not understand at all. I would be horrified at the prospect of being so clear with this piece as it’s meant to not make sense until the elements meet at the end. Used in this text is the Tick Tock dialogue. This I heard in Doctor Who though a few of the lines could be utilised for interpreting other things in and enhance meaning. just acknowledging that so everyone knows thats not accutally mine.
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