I'm breaking I feel like falling apart and I wanna just lay here in the dark and let it all out. I wanna scream and cry. I need to hug someone like...real hug. I feel like I'm ruining myself....
I feel like everything I do is wrong everything I say I should regret it later. I feel like I have no rights to be sad to be angry to feel hurt or cry... because it's my fault isn't it? I'm the one who is wrong..right? I want to tell you everything but I can't....
I guess I won't sleep tonight...I don't feel well....I don't mind my own health....I would feel better if I would be just gone...
I feel like shit...I can't take things going through my mind... it's so fucking painful! I wanna just give it all up and eng it for once....
I feel so empty...so alone and so sad I guess I can't even take it. I can't take my shits I don't want to share so how do you suppose me to take your shits?! How to fuck can I give you an answer on everything you are telling or asking me?! I can't give answer on my owns questions! You think your only one shaking? You think you are only one crying at night? Only one who isn't able to sleep? I don't wanna be mean but could you just please stop talking just about every bad shit that is on plate? I don't share everything too.... I don't wanna tell you that because I know this pain and it's batter to share it and I know you trust me but too much is going in my mind and this isn't helping...
I feel like breaking. Like everybody hates me. I feel like I'm bothering them just with my existence. I feel like all these butterflies Thet were flying around every time she texted me just died.
It's just I'm shaking and crying but I still don't mind it. I just want you to feel better to be ok to be happy again. I want to see you smiling. You think you'll hurt me with something? You could never hurt me. I feel broken and apart all the time. I feel like crying all day but I guess I'm still strong enough to keep it down.
You think you're going to hurt me when you mention your boyfriend? Let me give you an easy answer. No. You can talk about anything you wanna talk about. I might be hurt but I won't let it out don't worry. You didn't see me in my bad shape. You really didn't.you can't read my mind. And not everything is here. I have a lot in my mind to just write everything here. Why I'm doing this? I don't want anyone to worry about me but I need to let out some of my thoughts or they're gonna eat me alive. I just wish you could be happy. That's all I need. I need to see your honest smile. And I need to see that honest smile on every friend of mine. That's all I need before I'll destroy myself. I guess I feel empty again. I cried? Yeah I did. You know why? Because you were sad. I hate when people who I love -in a friendship way- are sad. I wanna help you to feel better but I don't know how because I'm not fucking good at words . You ask me if I'm ok? My answer: is yeah I'm fine. But guess if that's true? I guess sometimes it might.
No it's not ok. It hurts. But. I want you to be happy so I have accept it...right?
I'm sorry that I don't feel well! That I'm falling apart. That I'm shaking because my parents are arguing again. I'm sorry that for one fucking day I wanna be alone...
You guys know what hurts the most of all of this it hurts how I write there and nobody is answering me and now I just I didn't ask for an hour and it's it's just sorry I feel something.
I'm sorry, I had to share it with someone. But I don't want you to feel like me when she's telling me all of that shits. You know. I don't want you to worry about me but at thesame
And again it's just me, waiting for someone who don't really cares..
She's so beautiful... I think I like that girl from driving school..
I'm thinking..should I stay or should I go... I don't even know why am I waiting for you Lyss....why am I fucking like this?
You don't even give a damn...right? But I'm still waiting... Oh let me tell you why.... it's because you're the only one who's waiting for someone all the time...how it feels when someone is waiting for you.
