Do You Trust The Beat Inside My Soul?

Chapter 1

  "Harlow, are you almost done packing? We are heading out any minute." My mom called up to me.

  "I'm almost done mom, give me a few more minutes." I responded quickly.

  The truth is I wasn't almost done packing, I was furiously throwing out my ex boyfriends gifts he had given me over the years. I was tired of seeing all his crap, figured since my mother and I are moving and starting new I can toss his shit out.

  Brad was my high school sweetheart, we started off dating our sophomore year. Things quickly transcended to a full on relationship, something I really thought would last a lifetime. I know very cliche right? Just like most love stories, except this is a heart attack break up story. We stayed together for about 4 more years, and even were engaged. I then became pregnant, and we both couldn't be happier. Our lives were going to change forever, the energies that flowed between us like a river was beautiful. It wasn't until I had lost the baby due to a condition I had, that I knew nothing about. Then receiving news I could never get pregnant again, killed me to the core. I felt as if my life took a shitty turn for the worst, even more so Brad was becoming very distant from me. Things started to get weird between us, you know the whole him not touching me thing. He started disappearing more often, and staying later from work. Come to find out about two weeks ago I was told by my best friend he had been cheating on me with this girl who was perfect in every way. From her physique, to her job, mind, etc. She was absolutely gorgeous, I could see the sad truth as to why he would sneak with her. When I confronted him about it, he explained I just wasn't it anymore. How can he be with someone who lost his child, even more so not be able to give him one at all. He told me how wonderful she was and she was his life. I couldn't believe the boy I had fell in love with almost five years ago was telling me this. Fiery  rage filled my heart, a sad gloom in my soul. I felt as if something was then wrong with me, as if I didn't have a purpose so why am I here. I did think about suicide for a few days, especially since Ms. Perfect would rub it in my face. The nerve of this bitch to sit there and send me pictures of them together so much I changed my phone number. Them posting it all over social media publicly. I couldn't bare it no longer, I didn't  want to be miserable.

  It was then I decided to move back in with my mom, even more so go along with her plan to leave my hometown of Houston Texas. We had decided to leave, and basically start over fresh. I knew I needed this to get away from everything. People says its my way of running away, but its more of a healing for me. She found a beautiful two story home in Portland Maine. It was all the way up north, I knew it would totally different but I was ready for it.

  I finally finished packing all my belongings, and went into my restroom to toss all my junk into a mini backpack. I had so much, I was actually planning on throwing some of it away. I took one final look at myself in the mirror, kind of feeling a bit disgusted with the brown eyed girl with dark brown hair. I had very low self esteem and definitely felt it. As much as I hated how the situation turned out I loved Brad still, but he didn't love me. He abandoned his love he had for me when he was with that girl. I felt a few tears stroll down my face, I felt a terrible emptiness in my spirit. I can not believe I felt so lost without him, but I needed to remember he is gone forever.

  I ran through the front door with my belongings, and tossed them in the back of my Toyota Tundra. My mom had advised me I sell my vehicle and get a whole new one when we got to Maine.  I couldn't just let my black tundra go, beside I'm a Texas girl, I need my truck. The bed of the truck was full of stuff, that we needed. The movers would be in Portland Maine a few days after us to drop our stuff off.  It will be a few days before we get to our new home, it was going to be a long drive before we get there. My mother and I planned on taking turns driving.

  I really hope things are going to be better for us.