If heart ache was a physical pain, I could face it.

Part Twenty Seven

Sophie’s POV

“I’m going to get more drinks.” I say to the others. This is probably the fourth time one of us has gone to get some now. The wait is getting ridiculous. I turn to Tom to ask him what he’d like, knowing full well what his answer will be, but hoping that this time, just maybe he will want something.

“What do you want Tom?”

“Nothing.” He replies, like I knew he would. I sigh before taking Nath’s hand so he can help me bring the drinks back.

Standing at the vending machine I decide like everyone else before me that I will by Tom a drink, I know that he wont drink it but I can’t just leave him out.  As Nathan and I head back to the others, we notice a Doctor approaching them from the other direction. I speed up to try and make sure that I don’t miss anything that’s going to be said, but as I do so, I spill a burning hot coffee over my hand. Squealing from the pain I instinctively drop the cup I’m holding, spilling it all over the floor.

“Crap.” I moan, looking down at the mess at my feet, cradling my right burnt hand, in my left.

“Sophie, are you alright?” Nathan asks, concerned. Turning me around to face him after quickly putting the drinks he was holding down.

“I’m fine, but now we’re going to miss what’s being said as we have this mess to clean up.” I complain.

“It’s okay, I’ll get that.” A friendly nurse smiles at us.

“Are you sure?” I ask. Not wanting her to change her mind but feeling slightly guilty about it too at the same time.

"Of course. Go and see what the Doctor has to say about your friend.”

“Thank you!” I practically shout at her, before dragging Nathan down the hall with me to hear the news about Anne.

Max’s POV

I stumble out of the pub, turning my phone on so that I can call for a taxi. Immediately texts and missed called start coming through. My eyes widen in shock at the amount I’m receiving; if the boys just wanted to lecture me, then they would have given up after a few calls, but to my surprise, my phone is still vibrating in my hand. In my drunken state it takes my fuzzy mind longer than it should to realise that this must be because something is wrong.

Really wrong.

When it’s finally still I open the last text I received, which happens to be from Nathan.

As soon as you get this, get to the hospital. Anne collapsed it’s not looking good.

I quickly dial the number for a taxi company, before sinking down onto the pavement. This is just like last time, but a hundred times worse because although I loved Charly, I’m in love with Anne.

That’s when it hits me that maybe this is just like last time. Maybe Nathan and the rest of the boys are lying to me.

Again.

To try and stop me from running away.

Again.

“You order a taxi?” A man’s voice breaks through my thoughts and I look up from my hands to see him starring down at me disapprovingly.

“Err... yeah. Hospital please.” I reply, pulling myself up off the floor. Deciding that I can’t risk it. If something has happened, I’ll never forgive myself. Well I still may never forgive myself, this could partly be my fault after all. Mine and... His. The disapproving look fades from the mans face to be replaced by that of sympathy. Which of worse much worse. I slide into the back seat of the cab hoping against hope that this is just another sick joke. That Anne’s actually fine and nothing is wrong.

Tom’s POV

“You’re Anne’s boyfriend, right?” A Doctor I haven’t seen before asks me. I nod once, not trusting myself to speak. It’s the moment of truth, the moment that could completely break me, or build my hopes up potentially for no reason. I want to put my hands over my ears and start singing loudly at the top of my voice like the little kid Siva told me I am. Because if it’s going to be bad news then I’d rather just be sat here in limbo forever than know it’s all over. It can’t be over. Just like I can’t not listen, because as much as I’m convinced I don’t want to hear what he’s come to tell me, and as much as I may hate to hear it. I need to hear it.

“The operation when as planned, and the transplant was successful, but...” I can’t hear anymore, not that any of it matters, it was okay! She’s going to be okay! My baby girl’s going to be okay. I feel tears slide down my cheeks, but for once they’re happy tears. This is all over. My nightmare has finally come to an end! ...Wait. Did he say but? Shit. What if this isn’t the end?

“Wait.” I only just manage to choke out though my fear. “Did you say but?” Please say no, please say no. I silently pray in my head. It’s funny how desperate times can cause you to plead with someone you’ve never believed in before; but when the love of your life’s life is at stake you’ll do anything you possibly can. But the sympathetic look on the Doctor’s face gives everything away before he even starts talking, and my hope all but disappears.

The Doctor nods once, before beginning to repeat what my silent celebrations obviously drowned out the first time.

“As you were told by the first Doctor who spoke to you, the liver wasn’t a close match. And this can lead to complications, such as Anne’s body rejecting it.  If this were to happen, sadly there would be nothing we can do. The next twenty four hours will be crucial in Anne’s recovery. “

‘Nothing we can do.’ The words are spinning around in my head, over and over like a broken record. ‘Nothing we can do. Nothing we can do.’ Within seconds I find myself thrown straight back into the nightmare. I could still lose her. What have I done to deserve this? Apart from falling in love with my best mate’s girl, I can think of nothing. I’m vaguely aware of people trying to comfort me, but what do they know? Nothing. They know nothing. This is out of there hands, out of anyone’s hands just like the Doctor said; ‘nothing we can do.’  Come one Anne, you can do this! But what if she can’t? What if she doesn’t make it past this? What if I loss her? I can’t live in a world where she doesn’t exist. My mind starts wondering into deep and dark places as I wonder whether the guys would leave me alone long enough to end everything if she doesn’t pull through. Would they give me enough time to top myself, or would they guess what I was thinking and suffocate me? I hope for the first, I assume the second. I’d just have to be patient and wait till they were asleep to end my miserable life. But I could do it. It would be easy. Ending everything would be a hell of a lot easier than living with nothing. They say that time heals everything, but I don’t believe anything can mend a broken heart. And mine would be shattered way beyond repair.

“Can I see her?” I ask, my voice calmer, steadier now I know I won’t have to live without her. I’ve found my loop hole, my get out clause; and if needs be I’ll grab it with both hands.  But if this really is the start of the end, I’m not going to waste what could be the last time of our lives. The last twenty four hours that could be all I have to tell my girl everything, our whole life story that I have mapped out in my head. I need to tell her before we could be nothing more than a memory. Our life we may never get to live. Out happy ever after we may never get to for fill. If this really is the end I want to live everything. Even if it is only in my mind. I suddenly wish that God were real, at least then we would be able to live out our dreams in heaven. Where there would be no secrets, lies or pain. Only us and the whole of eternity.