Never Alone || Carchelle

Michelle

"Carla wait!" I cry as I watch my best friend leave the pub in tears but she vanishes and I fall to my knees sobbing, feeling like the pain is all too much. I hear Steve saying something as he guides me carefully out of the pub, his arm around my waist and I break down in his arms. Steve whispers gentle things in my ears, rubbing my back in an attempt to calm me down. "Are you alright" he says softly "I can't...." I whimper "I... I... She... I can't Steve... I can't" I loose it and fall apart completely, he catches me as my knees give way again and gently lowers me to the pavement. He pulls me into his arms and rocks me gently "You'll be ok Chelle" he murmurs. I hear heels clicking on the pavement and Carlas voice rings sharply through the air "Hypocrite. You can never commit to anything can you Michelle? Always running back to the people who hurt you... You deserve each other" she snarls and Steve shifts besides me "Leave it Carla" he states "You've done enough for one day". Carla laughs "I didn't do anything. You're bitch of an ex wife, she's lied to you Steve". I tense "C...Carla.... D...Don't" I hiccup and she looks at me, hatred glistening in her wet eyes "You've ruined enough lives Michelle" she snaps and I wince. Steve stands up "Leave us alone Carla" he growls but she cuts him off "Aww, how cute. There's no "Us" between you two. She's only ever been looking out for herself... Just ask her about your son RAURI" she screams "She had a dead child Steve. She couldn't even keep him alive long enough for you to meet him. Your darling Michelle lied to your face about your own son." My heart shatters "Stop" I whimper "Please...". She scoffs "Oh please! You should have told him" Before she walks away, leaving my life in pieces again. Steve doesn't say anything, I can feel his eyes on me as I cry hysterically on the pavement. Memories I had tried to bury resurface, flashing before my eyes and the pain burns like my heart has been set on fire. "is that true?" Steve stammers and I nod, a sob breaking free from my dry lips. "You LIED to me?" Steve barks "You had MY SON AND LIED TO ME FOR... how long have you... when?" He stutters angrily. "A year and a month ago..." I whisper and he sits beside me "Why didn't you say anything Michelle?" he snaps "I can't...." I cry as the pain inside my heart breaks my entire being into millions of pieces "TELL ME WHERE HE IS MICHELLE! TELL ME WHERE MY SON IS BURIED!" Steve yells and I hear a gasp. "You BITCH" Liz shrieks as her hand meets my face. "Michelle? You had a son?" I hear Johnny ask, Kates voice reaches my ears with more questions and as I stand up shakily, I catch sight of Aidens face full of pain and hurt. Liz's insults echo in my ears as I turn and run, feeling my world collapse around me as the pain takes over. Tears obscure my vision and as I enter my flat, they drip on the floor. I have nothing left. A pain filled cry breaks free of my lips as I reach for the vodka bottle hiding in the cupboard. Before long I am drunk but the pain still burns deep within my broken soul. I catch sight of the medicine cabinet and fling it open, wincing at the loud bang the door makes as it makes contact with the wall. Bottles of various pills line the inside and with tears streaming down my face, I empty three full bottles into my hand and swallow them a handful at a time with more vodka until the world around me starts to spin and I drop the bottle, vaguely hearing it smash before I join it on the floor as the world fades to black and the pain finally stops... 

When my eyes open, I'm still in the flat. I frown and sigh Why am I still alive? I think as I stand up and move, letting out a small yelp as I trip over something on the floor. I glance down and freeze. Below my feet is my body. I kick it but my foot passes through myself and I groan "For fucks sake!"  I yell "LET ME DIE DAMN IT!" but no amount of pleading will make my now open eyes, close again. I sink to the floor and lie there staring at the ceiling for a good long while before I finally hear a noise and roll my eyes. The doorbell rings and Steves voice echos through the intercom "FUCK OFF STEVE!" I scream but he keeps ringing the bell. Finally he gives up and I go back to watching my bodys breathing lighten. Patches of my vision start to darken and I sigh. Suddenly there's a large crash and Steve, Johnny, Kate and Aiden appear round the corner and rush to my body as I stand there yelling for them to leave me alone but they ignore me. My vision darkens again and I suddenly realise my darkening vision is my weird way of telling myself I am barely alive. I smile as I feel peace wash over me, the pain softening its grip on my heart and even as the world darkens again, panic never comes... I sing softly to my dying soul, a song I only heard once before appearing in my head, as the dark gradually takes over and I close my eyes for the final time: 

"Louder, louder
The voices in my head
Whispers taunting
All the things you said

You held my hand, you held me tight
Now you're gone
And I'm still crying
Shocked, broken
I'm dying inside"