Never Alone || Carchelle

Michelle

I break down, tears wracking my exhausted body. I hear the doctor talking to Johnny and then leave and he comes and wraps his arms around me "She's gone..." I wail and he holds me as my world crumbles. "Michelle... breathe" I hear Johnny say as the pure panic takes over. I hear him breathing loudly, asking me to follow him and breathe slowly. I try but my lungs refuse to listen, you're gonna die! my brain shrieks loudly, though I barely hear it over the sound of my heart beating out of control. Someone grasps my hand, squeezing it and I gasp, oxygen finally entering my lungs. I sob hysterically, barely breathing as I feel my heart shatter. I feel Johnny squeeze me and I cling to him like a lifeline. When the panic finally dissipates, I look up at Johnny, tears brimming in my eyes and whisper "why?" and he stares at me "Why what love?" he asks "why did she have to go?" I stammer, feeling my heart shattering at the thought I would never see her again. Johnny looks at me, pity filling his eyes and merely pulls me closer to me, for there was no reason. None at all. "You have a daughter" Johnny says sadly and I whimper "what am I going to tell her? What am I going to do? I need Carla" I wail as the nurse enters "Michelle Connor?" she asks and I nod, brushing the fresh tears from my face "I need you to sign this" she hands me a form and I frown "What is it?" I ask and the nurse sits down next to me "Miss Connor left you as her daughters' next of kin, we need you to sign this to clarify you're accepting full parental rights of...?" she looks at me "Carla didn't leave a name for lil bug anywhere?" I inquire and the nurse shakes her head "oh...um.." I look at Johnny "Do you think Carla would have liked Hailey-Anne Carla Connor?" I ask him and he smiles "Hailey-Anne?" I smile back "Hailey after Hailey Cropper who Carla loved like no other woman on earth and Anne after my grandmother" I state and he nods "I think she would approve" and I breathe in before glancing up at the nurse "Did you get that?" I whisper and she nods handing me the form, which I sign. And I know in that moment, my life will never be the same again. My eyes drift down to the tiny being swaddled in blankets and tubes "Hello Hailey-Anne, I'm your mummy" I whimper, wiping a tear drifting down my cheek away. "I will never let you feel alone little one, I will be here every day, waiting for you to get bigger, till one day, we can go home together. I will tell you stories of your mum, the good, the bad and the ugly and you will never ever feel like you have nobody... I promise lil bug"