Cold Spaghetti [Dukexiety] (Modern AU)

Surely This Must Be My Masterpiece

TW:// Sexual Jokes, Communist Jokes, Political Jokes, it's fucking Remus what did you expect?

Unedited

Remus let his legs hang off the couch at seven in the morning as he twirled his fork in the plastic tub filled with spaghetti. He took the leftover spaghetti from last night's family dinner out of the fridge and decided it would be perfect to eat for breakfast. Why heat it up if it tastes perfectly good cold? Hot take, or cold take, cold pasta is always better than hot pasta. Like after it's been cooked and put back in the fridge. Macaroni, ravioli, tortellini, spaghetti, pizza, all pasta tastes better cold.

Remus didn't budge when he saw his twin brother, fully dressed and ready for the day (which the process takes an hour because Roman is a perfectionist), for some bizarre reason. Remus just kept eating his spaghetti and laughed internally as Roman groaned and slapped his hand on his forehead like Sokka in the Secret Tunnel episode. Remus never rem,Bears the actual title of the episode. All that matters is the Secret Tunnel song.

"Remus, you need to get your act together."

"It's seven in the morning, why the fuck are you up?"

"You imbecile! Did you forget? You and I are supposed to help us move Virgil into his new apartment today! Of course you forgot. You're Remus. Just put that away and get yourself presentable. We leave in ten minutes. I'll leave a note for Mom to not eat the spaghetti."

Like the extra little theatre gay he was, Roman did a shiver and stomped back down the hall to go write a note at his desk on his special designed paper. Remus rolled off the couch and went to his own room. On his dry-erase calander, today was circled in purple. Not circled, but had a heart around the number. In big messy writing there was 'Virge Move In!' written in all caps, also in purple. Remus knew today was the day. He just didn't expect to be leaving so early. Both Roman and Virgil never wake up past ten on a weekend! Whether that's in the morning or at night is up to you, Reader.

Remus ran a comb through his mustache and hair maybe twice each and threw on an oversized, ripped-up, stained tee shirt and some basketball shorts. The shirt had a pokéball on the front and words over it in the classic Pokémon font reading 'Spell Muk Backwards' and underneath the pokéball reading 'Coward'. Remus wanted the shirt to say 'pussy' instead but his mom said no. His mom made the shirt for him so he kinda had to listen to her rules.

Remus was all set to go. All he had to do was throw on his crocs at the door and he was ready. We walked back to the living room and flopped back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with a grin on his face. Virgil is finally done with college! Virgil was always too stressed and come visit the brothers with school so now it's done he can have more time for the two of them! And more important, he'll have more time for Remus!

Roman came back out and he taped the prestine pink paper to the pantry door. Satisfied with his work, he glared over his shoulder at his messier twin brother with much cooler facial hair. (Roman can't grow any facial hair or chest hair to save his life and it kills him. Roman is such a twink lol)

"Come on. Let's go. Knowing Virgil he'll be halfway done by the time we get there."

"You know he knows better than to lift anything too heavy without us."

"Yeah, I know, doesn't mean I can't be worried about him. He might try and hurt himself even more."

"Relax, bro. Even if he does hurt himself, we'll bring him to the doctor. Besides, I know enough obscure facts about blood and bones and shit that I can keep him alive until we reach the ER fifteen minutes away from the place."