Shakespeare does Jack and Jill

This is a parody on Shakespeare and nursery rhymes.  I was inspired by by a repost of a cartoon of Shakespeare and Spot posted on Facebook. 

Jack and Jill,

According to Shakespeare

2012, Olan L. Smith

OLAN:

              'Tis Jack and Jill who fetched a pail upon

               Yon hill, and didst young Jack fall down? And make

               Fair Jill come tumbling after him? I ask,

               T'was justice served by such events that day?

               Alas, poor Jack ― I knew him well, a flagon of water         

               For Jill, this crown upon his head once sat. This same crown,

               T’was on his head!  A most eager Jill she hath

               So tumbled a thousand times; and now, how

               Must I face this crowd that gathered near?  How shall I explain?

               Such calamity, such pestilence has befallen the Queen?

               Come, fetch his Royal Mum, divulge that Hades hath

               Not offered Jack reprieve. Julie tell

               Me one thing?

JULIET:

               What’s that, my friend?

OLAN:

               Dost thou think Persephone looks favorable

               Upon this Kingdom fair?

JULIET:

               E’er so, my friend.

OLAN:

               Then bargain Jack for me?

               Imagine my noble dust for his until

               My bung-hole finds passage o’er

               The River Styx and I for Jack; ‘tis straight

               Up, make it so.