Undisclosed Desires

Chapter 1 - Map of the Problematic

"I can't get it right
Get it right
Since I met you

Loneliness be over
When will this loneliness be over?
Loneliness be over
When will this loneliness be over?"

This was a new beginning. Achieving our dreams can be the most fulfilling accomplishment someone can do. To other people it can be a heavy burden to carry around. To a fewer amount it could be both. We all need a fresh start in our lives after a while; a nice change in the atmosphere can do wonders... Especially after being on the battle field for so many years, living a once in a life time opportunity, that one that's so hard to refuse you can't say no.

So she didn't.

It's been ten – long – years since Lux graduated from Hogwarts but right now finding herself in front of the huge gates again made her feel like a student once more. Even though that definitely was not the case, all the memories rushed back inside her mind and she remembered the last time she was there, leaving the grounds after receiving her N.E.W.T examination scores. The five "Outstanding" written over the darken parchment meant she was officially applicable to the Aurors Academy now and her dream was one step closer.

She shook her head.

Knowing that she had learned so much in her years as an auror was priceless and now she would have the opportunity to inspire and share all the knowledge gathered in the field would help to prepare even more any student that chose to be an auror like her or any other field that Defenses Against the Dark Arts would be a necessity. Staring at the path leading to the castle she could hear the train somewhat closer to the school grounds knowing it was time to get inside after all she needed to settle in her private chambers and meet Headmistress McGonagall for a meeting before the banquet.

With no more time to waste Lux crossed a long path connecting the gates with big fast steps, there was no time to waste after all she was already there. As soon the main entrance of Hogwarts was reached, the auror fought back a momentary reminiscence inside her head.

- There will plenty of time to go down on the memory lane. – She said in a very low voice to herself.

And before she could even decide where to begin, the Headmistress Minerva McGonagall was coming her way.

- This woman speedwalks more than I do. – With a smile on her face going to meet the woman halfway. – Headmistress.

- Carstairs, finally you made it. – It didn't matter how much time has pass, Minerva looked as classy and majestic as ever. Greeting each other with a warm smile, they hold hands for a moment.

- How are you holding up my child? – Her eyes study Lux in a very serious tone behind the classic glasses while they walked the corridors in a fast pace.

Silence filled the air while they walked, Lux tried to make sense of her thoughts.

- I'm... Trying I guess? I mean... At least now I can sleep... Most of the nights. – The young woman new there was no point in trying to lie to the woman. She was Lux first mentor.

The concern on Minerva's face grew like a shadow as she abruptly stopped walking breathing in and looking the younger woman in the eyes.

- I don't dare trying to say that I know how you're feeling after going through all that my dear. The burden you carry within your mind is unspeakable... But Merlin knows I've had my share of sorrows and tears during my years and I want you to know you'll always have a shoulder to rest and cry with me. – They shared a sad meaningful smile.

- I know that I'm just... Trying to cope I guess. – Lux eyes were filled with silent tears.

- You take as much time you need just remember you are not alone. – Lux tucked a few strings of the grayish hair she had on behind her ear and nod.