I had just finished recording a video with Dream. It was one of the manhunt ones. He always gives me chills when he sneaks up on me, even though I'm supposed to be the hunter.
He's so intense, and, well, calculating. He thinks things through so much and he thinks of things I could probably could never come up with. I guess he's big brain. I get scared whenever he manages to track me down even if I know it's coming.
I feel embarrassed about how much I've been startled but I'll never admit it. That's too real. We can't have feelings here now can we?
I still wish I knew what he looked like. Is he handsome? How much taller is he? He would make me feel so tiny and insignificant next to him. He would be so intimidating. Maybe... muscular. And freckles too. I bit my lip.
I know I should let it go but it kind of hurts that he doesn't trust me with what he looks like.
Flirting he has no problem with, because he doesn't mean it one bit. I think he likes it when I'm flustered, but that's just normal friendship bullying complex like pi- anyway he doesn't actually care about me that way.
It gets annoying because his words sometimes affect me even if I don't want them too. It's not that I'm falling in love or anything, but he acts so sweet and it hurts my brain.
I don't think I'm gay, but I've never really thought about it. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, all that matters to me right now is keeping him in my life.
Maybe I do love him, but he doesn't mean a word he says, and I want it to be sincere if I ever say it.
I feel like he tosses around those words so easily and it just doesn't sit right with me. It would feel wrong to ever say I love him, because if I did I would completely mean it and it would make me too vulnerable.
I hate obsessing over this, but it doesn't help with all the fanart and people talking about it on Twitter. People would probably be weird about it if I said it too. I don't know what they'd do, but they'd do something. I guess I don't trust them the same way Dream doesn't trust me with his face.
I hate this.
I'm bored and I have no idea what to do. I guess I'll just browse Twitter. What is it with people and crafting tables? I don't think I want to understand. I did livestream yesterday, but I'm not sure if that would've had anything to do with it. Maybe I'll ask Sapnap.
Gogy: do you know what's happening on twitter?
Snapchat: wdym
Gogy: there's stuff about us and a crafting table
Snapchat: oh
Gogy: so you do know?
Snapchat: dont worry about it
Gogy: pleasssseee tell me
Snapchat: no
Gogy: come on
read 11:34pm
I guess he'll be no help. I contemplated messaging Dream, but decided against it. If he doesn't know it probably wouldn't end well for me because he would tease me about it somehow. I really get enough of that.
Apparently though Dream had other plans.
Drem: cheating on me with Sapnap huh? I see how it is.
scooterboy: idk what you're talking about
Drem: smh next video Minecraft but no crafting tables, we coded it that crafting table is f*cking gone
scooterboy: what does this mean??
Drem: Sapnap is also gonna die every minute, no keep inventory or anything
scooterboy: DREAM
Drem: you get to speedrun too have fun
scooterboy: DREAM PLEASE EXPLAIN
Drem: you shouldn't have done that with Sapnap then :(
scooterboy: what??
Drem: Don't play innocent, it was on your stream.
scooterboy: dream-
Drem: I can't believe you George, you even kissed him voluntarily.
Suddenly Gorge froze. He had forgotten about that happening. His face turned a few shades redder than normal, and he felt his face warm.
scooterboy: it was just a joke, it meant nothing
Drem: So you're saying if I kissed Sapnap it would mean nothing to you?
scooterboy: I-
Drem: Well?
George knew that Dream was only joking and didn't mean any of it, but in the moment he had no idea how to react. Honestly he might be upset slightly. But he would never tell Dream that. So he just ignored the question.
It might comeback to bite him later but he could probably play it off as falling asleep or something.
George decided to go to the fridge and eat something, maybe he could eat away his feelings to feel better.
He opened the door, but there was nothing there. He groaned and closed the door. There were a few things in there, but it wasn't like he could eat them or anything.
Ever since he had lived in his apartment he didn't know what to get from the grocery store. He even looked online for shopping lists but to no avail there was nothing helpful.
He just grabbed sushi from a good place a few miles away usually. George himself wasn't sure how he was still alive with his lack of food decisions.
He also just realized he changed persons but that wasn't important right now, if people had problems they could deal with it.
George felt his eyes starting to fall now and his body was aching. Maybe he did need to get some sleep. He had stayed up with increasing lateness recently. He sighed and walked over to his bed and turned off the light. How tomorrow would play out would either be interesting or just really embarrassing. He couldn't worry about that now, however, as he drifted off.
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I don't know if I'll continue this or not but if you like it then sure.
