Don't Leave Me Broken

Prologue

"Why do you need to leave me this soon, anak?"

I closed my eyes to prevent myself from crying. Seeing my own son inside the small coffin while sleeping peacefully keep on shattering my heart into pieces. Ito na talaga. Ito na ang kahuli-hulihang pagkakataon na masisilayan ko siya.

Those days and moments we spend together keep on coming back in my mind. Masakit, ang sakit sa pakiramdam para sa isang ina na mawalan ng anak. Ang sakit, mas masakit iyon kaysa sa pakikipaghiwalay.

"I don't want you to leave but I know you wanted to rest now. Please, anak, rest in peace. Maybe someday, we'll be able to see each other in heaven."

That's the last word I uttered while watching his coffin slowly being put down under the ground.

"Yvaine."

I felt my husband's hand touched my writs. Mabilis ko iyong binawi.

"Don't touch me."
Malamig kong sabi sa kaniya. I faced him and I saw his face. He look so hopeless and stress, but I don't care. Kasalanan niya ang lahat ng ito. I know I shouldn't blame him for what happened but I can't help it.

"I'm sorry."

Napailing ako.

"For what, Kenji? For what?"

He didn't answer, it looks like he's not sure about the words that he's about to tell me.

"For leaving us behind? Para sa pagpako mo sa mga pangakong binitiwan mo?"

Pakiramdam ko noong nagpaulan ng kamalasan sa mundo ang Diyos ay sa akin napunta ang lahat. I lose my son but at the same time I lose my husband too.

"Yve..."

Napailing ako.

"Iyan lang ba ang masasabi mo? Ang pangalan ko?"

I don't want to sound nor look bitter that's why I took a deep breath.

"I trusted you so much Kenji. I trusted you that you won't hurt me but I was wrong. I shouldn't trusted you so much."

Sometimes men are really hard to understand, kapag naghihigpit sa kanila ang isang babae, iyon ang nagiging dahilan kung bakit sila nagloloko. Pero kapag ang babae, hinayaan lang sila sa mga bagay na gusto nilang gawin, nagloloko parin sila.

"Yve, I'm sorry. Hindi ko din naman ginusto na mawala ang anak natin. I love our son for pete's sake!"

Napailing na lamang ako. I already made my decision, desisyon na kahit kailan ay hindi ko aakalaing sasagi sa isipan ko.

"Kung mahal mo kami, sana kami ang pinili mo. Maghiwalay na tayo."

"Yvaine..."

"I can't afford to lose another son again because of you Kenji."

Masakit man pero siguro kailangan kong tanggapin na mauuwi sa isang trahedya ang pagsasamang ito.

"I'll file the annulment later, maybe next week you'll receive the annulment papers."

Buo na ang desisyon ko at alam kong ito ang pinakatamang gawin. He look at me for a minute before he nodded.

"O-Okay."

Tumango ako. Mabuti naman.

"I'm sorry."

Hindi ko na siya sinagot. Pakiramdam ko kasi kapag nagsalita pa ako ay mapapaiyak na ako.

"I'll go ahead, Kenji."

I turned my back and walk away from him while letting my tears fall, one by one.