OUR SHALLOW GRAVES

Why? Why would you do this?

Levi's POV

I watch as Eren takes a shaky breath. His hands clasped so tightly around each other, they're turning white. My heart aches for the boy whom I felt, I couldn't save. He' a right here, and yet I couldn't save him. I glance towards Hanji but her eyes plead with Eren's chocolate mop of hair to just look at her. Erwin doesn't seem much better. The bags under his eyes have gotten dark, whatever limited sleep he has allowed himself is now nonexistent. Replaying the previous night in my mind is the only time I've ever seen him so vulnerable. A vulnerability that he allowed to seep through. I want to smile at such a thought, but looking at him now, shakes me to my core. This Eren that I'm looking at is a stranger. A stranger who doesn't smile, or holds a smile that never reaches his eyes. Such Caribbean eyes that held such a fire, a hope. I search for any remnant of the flame that used to be there, now, all I see are ashes.

"Eren, do you know why you're here?" Erwin asked, his normally booming voice lowered to a quiet whisper. Raising his head, but not meeting Erwin's eyes, Eren nods numbly. I watch Hanji bites her lip, watching tentatively of his every move. I grasp his knee, a small comfort, but one that spoke greater meanings. He glanced up at me before returning his eyes to the floor. His earlier demeanor diminished as worry and dread take place.

"Eren, understand that we're worried about you. You've made such a dramatic change, one that we were not prepared for. If you could just talk to us. Anything to help you get better, we'll listen.," Erwin's words were laced with an emotion I hadn't heard before. The sympathy and empathy for the boy have even shaken our Commander. I watch as Eren gulps in some air, opening his mouth before hastily closing. I'm the only one in this room who knows a semblance of the truth. A truth, I wish never happened.

"Eren, please.," I pleaded. His eyes meet mine.

"You can trust them, just like you've trusted me.," I whisper. I felt that any tone above that would break him, more than he already is. He holds his head low, speaking in a gravelly tone.

"I'm a monster. One that can't be trusted.," he whispers. I notice Erwin going rigid in his seat, his eyes widening at such a statement. Hanji chokes back a sob at such heartbreaking words.

"Eren, who said you were a monster?" Erwin asks, his voice wavering ever so slightly. I tighten my grip, comforting him in any way I can.

"I overheard a conversation between the Levi squad. But it isn't their fault.," he murmurs. Hanji's head snaps towards him. She grasps him by the shoulders, shaking lightly.

"E-Eren.," she whispers. Her lips trembling. My stomach revolts, remembering the conversation vividly.

"Why isn't it their fault?" She asks, drawing out her words. His eyes pierce through hers as a small smile curves his lips.

"Because they were speaking the truth.," he says, his voice breaking. The air stiffens at such words. I felt my body want to scream, shout, anything to rid such foul auras that surround us at this moment. Hanji kneels in front of him, her body shaking uncontrollably. Her worst fears replaying in her mind.

"Hanji.," I murmur. She takes a shaky breath before continuing, steadying herself for what answers lie in the boy's mind.

"What did they say?" She asks. He turns his head slightly.

"Ask them.," he states. His sudden change scares me, and we've only scratched the surface.

"Eren how long have you been feeling like this?" Erwin asks. A hollow laugh echoes the room as glassy eyes trail anywhere other than our eyes.

"Don't act as your care now, I'm just a tool. Once I've done my job you'll get rid of me. I wouldn't be surprised if you're secretly glad that I'm gone, maybe you shouldn't have saved me.," his voice cold and void of the emotion I've come to endear.