Back At One

Devin: Second and Last Chance

I felt like he was going to try to kiss me and as much I wanted him to Saa started to cry at the right time I got up and went to check on him. I didn't know if he followed me or not. I didn't care Saa was all that mattered. When I got in his room and turned on the light Saa's cry got louder "What's wrong my love?" I asked when I picked him up, he pulled at my shirt so that only means one thing he was hungry she didn't feed him either selfish bitch I sat down and grabbed his bottle from the mini refrigerator Saa's eyes lit up and he had a big smile as he took the bottle and started to drink. I just started to give him the bottle since I just started working again it's hard to breast feed like I used to, so I pump and put the bottle the mini refrigerator. Shawn walked into the room and stood in the doorway with his arms crossed "He was hungry my egg donor didn't feed him again" I said he walked inside and stood next to me "You wanna feed him? I mean you need the practice" I asked he looked at me with a smile "Of course I will" he said I guided him to the chair and told him to sit down. He did what he was told, and I handed Saa to him "Here you go he's all yours" I said when they both got comfortable "I'm sorry" added Shawn looked at me with confusion "For what Dev?" he asked I sighed and sat next to him "I was wrong to be cold hearted towards you. You had your reasons to leave and I shouldn't have said that to you earlier I know how important being a father was to you and I almost took that away from you because of my broken heart" I said when I looked at Shawn he was about to said something but Saa let out his "I'm done" cry Shawn jumped a little "You have to burp him now" I said as I went and grabbed his burping cloth and put it on his shoulder "You remember how to do it?" I asked, "Yes I remember not so hard" he said, and he started to burp him "Look, I'm sorry too I wanted to call you every day when I was gone. I just couldn't risk it" he said after a few pats on his back "Risk what Shawn? You know I wound have protected myself and our son" I said to him he shook his head "Naw I love you to fucking much to make you do all of that" he said. I knew that he was going to say that to me he always did. "This is your first and last chance if you leave us like you did before don't you ever think about coming back. You will be dead to us by then and I will not allow you back" I said. I was serious about what I said. "I understand mama I promise" he said with a smile on his face and Saa smiled too. After Shawn put him back to sleep I walked him to the door "Thank you for this Devin I really wanted to meet him and plus I missed you everyday and I'm sorry that I didn't reach out to you" he said when he looked at me "You're welcome just remember what I told you" I said he nodded "Of course" he said as he went for a hug I pushed him away "No this relationship is co-parenting only good night" I said as I pushed him out the door. I am not ready to let him back in my heart not just yet because at the end of the day I still love him.