Finding Solace

XLII

"I'm sorry for not being completely honest with you." I conveyed my guilt as I looked to each of their faces. Mrs. Somers and Mr. Somers both held sadness and pity in their eyes as well as their expressions.

Maverick on the other hand was blank, jaw clenched as he either fought to hold back true feeling or was holding back his anger he held for me. I wouldn't hold it against him if we were to be upset with me. I had kept a very significant part of my life hidden away and could come as quite a shock. I did indeed take someone's life and wasn't something people could brush away and ignore. I only wish that if he did feel any sort of resentment for me, that he could forgive me somehow. If I were to finally be honest with myself, I've grown very fond of him, for kind heart and his morals. I can only hope that his kindness was applied to me, even after my admission to deceitfulness.

"We appreciate you for telling us but you shouldn't feel sorry. You never lied to us, just didn't tell us everything. You were just trying to protect yourself, we all see that." Mrs. Somers rubbed her hands up and down my arms, trying to bring me comfort.

"I-I still understand if I'm no longer welcome here. I wouldn't want a murderer in my house either." I tried to play if off a joke but it didn't come across the way I wanted it too. Instead, it sounded sad and full of self deprivation. I glanced at Mrs. Somers' fallen face and I looked back to the table, only to have her gently tilt my chin up.

"If this means anything to you, I don't see you as a murderer. You didn't murder anybody. What you did was out of self defense." Her thumbs wiped away the tears that rolled down my cheeks. "Whether you come back or not after your case if entirely up to you but you will always be welcome in this house." She smiled down at me as she continued to wipe my tears away. My eyesight became blurry as more tears pooled in them and I gave her a weak but appreciative smile, her warm thumbs still brushing away my tears.

"Thank you." Since she was standing, she hugged me to her breast, soothing me as I cried a bit longer. I was tired but not from running or hiding or lying or from fear. This time, I was relieved of my secret but I was drained from crying, the constant emotion taking a heavy toll my body, rendering me exhausted. My eyes lids turned heavy and I could feel them weighing me down, making it harder and harder to keep my puffy eyes open.

"It's quite late." Mrs. Somers brushed some of my bangs out of my face, some stray hairs sticking to my cheeks from all of my crying. "Why don't we turn in for the night? You're tired and I would rather you not drive until you're in a better head space. Besides," she placed a gentle kiss to my forehead, "we can talk about this in the morning." After bidding a hushed goodnight to the room and grabbing my pills, Mrs. Somers directly me upstairs, making sure I was okay for the night. Sitting me down on the bed, she sat next to me, holding my hands in her small, yet warm ones.

"I just want you to know that tonight doesn't change anything. I still think of you the same way, you're still the same person." Squeezing my hands a bit tighter, her eyes warmed. "You're so strong and I would be proud to call you my daughter." Wrapping my arms around her neck, I pulled her into a hug.

"You don't know how much that means to me." I breathed in her warm, homey smell, one of coffee and baked goods. "Thank you." With one last goodnight, she left me to my own, letting my thoughts catch up to my actions.

This changed everything. Even though they acted like everything was fine, it wasn't. I had to leave but the question was, do I come back? Do they really want me back? Or they just saying that for my sake and theirs? So I would go psycho and kill them? Sighing, I placed my head in my hands. They acted like it was fine. Maybe it was fine and I was just overthinking.

A knock sounded, making me look up. There, in my open doorway, stood Maverick, my large duffle bag slung over his shoulder. His face was still impassive as ever and if possible, I felt even more dejected.

Stepping in the room, he placed the bag on the ground, a small thump sounded as it hit the floor. He went to take a step before hesitating, as if he were contemplating if he should approach me. I watched as the look in his eyes change when he began to approach me, to which I began to immediately apologize.

"I-I'm sorry." My words kept blurting out, rambling random things out. "I didn't mean for it-."My mind couldn't finish a sentencing before jumping to the next though. "I should have-." He kept getting closer. "I-I'm sorry." I repeated as he stopped in front of me. I looked down at my lap, my hands holding onto the blanket beneath me for support. "I'm really sorry." I whispered.

He had yet to say anything, just stood there for a few seconds. As I went to apologize again, his arms encircled me, one around my waist while the other pulled my head to his chest. His fingers weaves through my hair while his head came to rest on mine, his body curving over mine protectively. His heart pounded against my ear, strong and someone erratic.Bringing my hands up, one went around his waist while the other pressed against his chest, clutching his shirt.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in my hair, holding me tighter. "I'm so sorry." His voice sent vibrations through his chest.

He held me for a while, running his fingers though my hair. Slowly, he pulled back from the hug but we didn't separate, just adding enough space so we could look at each other.

"I want to come with you." He pushed my hair back from my face.

"I can't ask you to do that." I shook my head and he gave me a small smile.

"You didn't." He placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. "I'm offering."