Vent

S

     I have a problem. I don't like texting people that much. I usually text my friends once every two days. Today I texted them for 20 minutes, and called them for an hour. They always complain to me, "Why don't you ever call us?" Or "Why don't you ever text us?" They talk a lot. So maybe I just don't talk that much to them coming from their perspective.
     I'm more in contact with my friend, (let's call her H) H, I talk her more frequently then my other friend, S. S can be mean sometimes, she doesn't even hide the fact that she can be rude sometimes. One time I was struggling on a math problem in the middle of class, and S looked at me, "Are you really that stupid?" You see, S is a lot smarter than me. But as you can see, she isn't very humble able it. "I'm sorry," I said. "Quit wasting your words, don't be sorry. Just do it, you idiot."
     I sat there thinking I was going to cry. I don't like crying in front of her. I'm a little older then her, and whenever I show any sign of weakness, it makes me feel terrible. I'm very sensitive to words, even if someone raised their voice at me I would start crying. But when I became friends with S, I learned crying isn't okay, if you cry S is going to mock you.
      S can be very sweet sometimes though. One time S gave my presents on my birthday, and said I was cool. When S does anything nice for me, it's the best feeling. It's like, you've accomplished something, like someone's rewarding you. When S and I first became friends she always said things like, "I wish I could be more like you". When I first met S my friends didn't like her, but I convinced them to give S a chance. But now, S gives my friends praise for doing nothing. But I try so hard to please her.

But I can't.

I never will.

She'll only care about H.

Not me.