Darkness.
That is all I've been feeling since you've been gone.
The only place I'm still happy in, is in my dreams. Because that's when I see you. You tell me to be strong, to move on. Whenever I meet you in my dreams you say that everything is fine. What you don't know is that I wish I were dead, just so I can feel your touch again.
My friends tell me to go out again, to live life like you would want me to. They ask me why I'm still here when all I want to do is be with you. Wanna know what my answer was? That you are the only reason I'm still living. Your love is the only thing that keeps me alive. The only thing I still hold onto.
Is that wrong? Loving someone forever can't be wrong, right? I know dying is a part of life. But you know what? Life isn't fair. Why did it have to take you and not the drunk guy that hit you? He gets away with a few years in prison, but you? All I ever hear is sorry. But are they really? They don't know how it feels to lose the love of your life just because a stranger was careless. His decision to drive was made in under a minute. In under a minute your death sentence was made by someone who doesn't even know you.
When I close my eyes, I hope to see you. I'm scared that you won't be there for me anymore when I fall asleep. I'm scared that I won't be able to remember your face, like your existence was just a blurry dream. But right now, your face is the only thing I see. Its stuck in my head like a melody I can't seem to forget.
Whenever I think about you and the times we had, I feel like I'm floating in the ocean. I'm free when I'm with you. So at night, when I fall asleep and see you, I'm happy. Its short lived but I am. Those dreams are bittersweet because I know I can only meet you in them.
That's why they are my dark paradise.
