Take Me Home (GirlxGirl) (Lesbian)

-EIGHT-

Alex's POV

(Someone To Stay - Vancouver Sleep Clinic)

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I don't know how or why I did this in the first place. My apartment is a disaster, a total mess. Glasses everywhere, things are everywhere and I lock myself in my room for two days after I dropped Logan off to her house.

I didn't eat anything since Friday night, there are bottle of whiskey, vodka and beer in the living room and a bottle of vodka in my room.

I look around to see the mess. Sheets on the floor, pillows broken into two, the lamp on the nightstand has broken, my clothes are everywhere and a bleeding hand.

I see my right hand, my palms covered in blood, my forearm has a long scratch and my upper arm is bruise.

Oh god, what did I do?

I try to remember what happens. But the only thing I can remember is Logan. Fuck, that girl is really messing with my head and my heart. How the hell she does that? Stepping into my life and forces herself to get closer because she cares about me.

But I can't. I can't let her in. She's dangerous because she could read me, but I'm more dangerous than her. I'm a beast. I'm a broken pieces.

The main reason why I didn't let someone in is because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be left. I'm afraid to feel the up high then suddenly I fall down low until I hit my rock bottom and I have no one to help me rise up again. And I'm afraid to be loved again because I have nothing to give them.

I'm not enough. I will never be enough. I'm a mess. I'm not a full. I'm incomplete. I'm damaged. I'm a lost cause. I'm broken. I don't know where are my pieces to take them back. I don't know if I'm still be able to be one again. I'm not sure.

But then Logan comes into my life out of nowhere, giving me a chance to find my pieces. What should I do?

I'm not ready to see her or I will regret something later because I can't be myself when I'm around her. I decided to stay in the apartment this morning and here I am, laying on the bathroom floor, searching through the contact list on my phone and try to call Heather. She's supposed to be here by now, the school is over and she has nothing else to do. I need her to help me, because I'm tired right now.

She wasn't coming at the weekend because I told her not to. I wasn't in a good shape yesterday and today is not getting better. I don't know what I should tell her about this mess because I didn't even know why I did this. It just happened, my anger was controlling me, the rage built up inside me after my confrontation with Logan.

"Alex?" I hear Heather calls me.

But I keep quiet, I hear she gasps and mutters an 'oh my god'. Hell, I don't even have a power to get up after what I did.

Then someone bursts into my bedroom. "Alex?" She calls. "Baby, where are you?"

I remain silent. Then she opens the bathroom door and another gasp escapes from her mouth. I see her crying, she holds my body and hugs me tightly.

I can hear she whispers something in my ear but I can't hear it. My eyes are empty. I feel numb all over my body. She rubs my head, places her cheek on my head.

"I'm sorry." She keeps telling me that, I shake my head no.

She kisses my head so many times, I feel her tears streaming down my head.

Then I hear someone calls out Heather's name and that's why I know why Heather keeps apologizing.

"Heather?"