I watch my arm as the red drips off of it. It mixes with the running water in the sink and goes down the drain. I'm running out of space on my arm. It's like one big scar. Last time I tried to cut my other arm it cut to deep with my unsteady left hand. I sigh at the memory. My mom and dad got divorced when I was six. I never really understood what was going on. They're good friends still, but live on the opposite sides of the state. I live with my dad. Life is boring. He's gone almost all the time on business trips for weeks on end. It's all up to me to keep my grades up, feed myself, and shop for food and other necessities. He says if I keep up with everything he'd get me some new electronic or outfit no matter how expensive. I have the newest iPhone from our last deal and a case. We live in a decent sized house. It's quite spacious for only two people. He leaves more than enough money for me to live for a couple of months. Only on rare occasion do I have to pay for the monthly bills. I feel as if my brain is going to explode one day from the constant math working out the extra I can spend on my self and how much goes to what. I'm pretty much an adult that's given money to live. I only know half of the struggles. No kids. No pets. No siblings. No job. I look up at myself in the mirror my short hair falls in to place perfectly. It's not too short or too long. No one has mistaken as boy yet, at least.
"Come on." I say to myself. "You need to stop." I look away from my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I can't stand it. If I'm going to look at myself I'd rather see myself in a casket at an empty funeral. No one would come anyways. I take my medication that my father and a doctor said I need to take to help with my "depression." I scoff at the thought. "Yeah right." I whisper to myself as I chug my water with the pills in my mouth.
I feel my eyes get droopy with tiredness. That's the thing that pissed me off with those pills. I get sleepy, but I fight it. I stumble into my room, turn on the light, blast some music, turn on my computer, and sit down in my favorite chair by my desk. It's just an office chair, but it's so nice. I spin in circles on it singing along to the music waiting for my computer to boot up. I almost fall asleep until I hear the familiar jingle on my computer as it turns on. It's really loud. I forgot to turn down the volume last time. I type in my password and login. As I check my social media I hear my phone ring and I look down at it next to my keyboard. It's from my dad. I pick it up.
"What?" I say annoyed. It's the middle of the night, even though I'm not going to sleep anytime soon.
"Hi Jasper. I'm calling you to tell you that I'm going to have to stay in England another month. It turns out there are a lot of projects here that have built up."
"That all?"
"Oh! I almost forgot and I'm sending you check for $2,000." My eyes widen. What? He's never given me that much money. He continues, "it's just in case I have to stay a little longer, or go somewhere else. I never know with this stupid job." I hear him sigh. "But it gets us a lot of money, so I shouldn't complain."
"Yeah..." I say just to let him know I'm still on the phone.
"Well bye honey, I miss you." He hangs up immediately not even letting me say bye. I laugh like a tired psycho, I am really damn tired though. I slap my hands on my cheeks.
"What am I going to do..." I mumble dragging my hands down my face. "Focus. Nothing, just the usual. Nothing different." I nod to myself looking over at my computer. I flip it my middle finger before turning it off and then going to bed. Hehe who am I kidding. I have my phone, more Internet to explore. I pass out at 3 in the morning.
