The Choice

Chapter One

"I'm still not sure what possessed him to do it." Mrs. Bryant paused not for the first time. "I mean in theory I understand it." She shook her head.

"The fear of dying. Especially, in that way, but now... immortality? Really?" Her voice rose in incredulity.

I'd been seeing Mrs. Bryant since about a month after her husband had been turned vampire. We were making progress in dealing with the fall out of that. She'd been angry for months but wasn't expressing that anger. At least not outright in a way that put a name to the emotion. Today felt different. It felt like things were finally coming to ahead.

"I can't help but wonder if this was intentional. Another way to spite me." She released a heavy sigh, and her eyes fell back to her lap where she wrung her hands. "Our relationship for the last few years." Her words cut off there. I gave her a moment to continue. Mrs. Bryant was still struggling with being open in her emotions.

It was like that with people. Some were more than happy to finally have a place of solace to let their internal monologue become external conversations. Then there were those like Mrs. Bryant. Slow to trust and slower to allow herself to voice what she felt without sugar coating.

"I feel like everything has fallen to me." She shook her head again. Dark coils moving ever so slightly with the motion and she made a movement with her hand as if pushing something away.

"Even before the cancer. I don't begrudge him not helping then. But this."

I put my pen down and kept my eyes trained on her. This was what I'd been hoping for. This is what I'd been trying to help guide her through.

She huffed in frustration and said. "Our kids are so young. I look over at the breakfast table and it's just me and them." Her words started tripping out of her mouth like they were eager to be free of their cage.

"He'll never be there again. He can't come out in the sun. That means parent teacher conferences, games, recitals. Taking care of them when they're sick." She ticked off each item on her fingers. "All of that falls to me."

She made a sound between a huff and a scoff before continuing to vent. "Then he has the nerve to tell me. I can turn AFTER the kids are out of the house." Her voice changed as if mocking her husband. "I'll just have to take better care of myself." I saw her nostrils flare. I could see it in her face that that comment had cut deep. Her body image was something she and I had discussed in length. What I saw was a beautiful dark-skinned woman that had birthed three gorgeous children and her body held true to that.

Her body was a sensitive subject for her. After carrying and nursing three children some things had changed. What mattered was she was doing the work to relearn and love that body again.

"Kids, that mind you, I am now solely responsible for caring for while he lays around the house dead all day." She quipped quickly.

"Not once did he even ask me if I wanted to! I don't want to be nocturnal. I don't want to be limited to the shadows!" She all but yelled.

This was the strongest emotion I'd seen out of Mrs. Bryant outside of sadness. There was an air of defeat that clung to her like ink on paper. She was one of my patients I was the most concerned about. The pressures of being a single mother via an absentee partner had been weighing heavily on her shoulders. Two things had been clear to me: Mrs. Bryant had been unhappy in her marriage for a long time and Mrs. Bryant had been silent about it for equally as long.

I know some people say venting is uselessly expending energy. I tend to disagree. It's only useless if all you do is vent. Venting allows emotions to be released to leave space for clear thinking and gives the ability to look at an issue with an objective lens. Venting is good for the soul when done correctly.