A daughter's point of view

I

    I didn't believe it at first , I couldn't picture my life without her existing anymore , I refused to listen to their words knowing that they held the truth , I saw the way he looked at me , it wasn't the same before hearing what the doctors told us , it was full of sadness , loneliness and guilt maybe , he knew this day was coming but he preferred to not ruin the beautiful moments I had with her , they offered to see her one last time , I didn't want to because I didn't want it to be the last time , but he took my hand and dragged me to her room , she was covered by a white sheet even her face we couldn't see it , and it was so quite , I was here just yesterday but I feel like for the past years I came to a different room because this one is not as cheerful as mom's room , the one who delivered the news went to the bed and took the sheet from her face , she was pale but ...... smiling , why , I kept repeating this question in my head a lot of time , suddenly someone pushed me and started shouting the death women's name , I was shocked to see her crying but I thought that she was just pretending because she never cared about her , the small talks she had with her always involved her needing money , her nickname was the devil , I felt two big arms hugging me , he came , the hero , my mom's hero , despite he was in the army , he always would visit her whenever he was free , and buying her gifts or candies since she liked them a lot , he was whispering sweet thing to me , since he knew I wouldn't bear her disappearance , we stayed like that until that devil went out , it was his turn he went to mom's side so he would see her for the last time , I heard a sob , I turned and saw him , mom's first born , her angel , when his eyes landed on me , he hugged me and started patting my head , he's called the angel because him and mom were alike , he was the only one that has mom's features , it was relaxing , he changed his shift at work so he could pick me up from school so we can visit mom together everyday , we would stop by the sweet café so he could buy to mom her favourite cake , and knowing that the sun is disappearing it means that the moon will not be bright anymore , he let me go so he could see the first women who held him in this world , the hero went to hug mom's love, her first love was like me , shocked with no tears to shed , this is my family : the devil, the hero , the angel , the love and me the little one and right now we lost our sunshine , our happiness , the reason of our hard work .

      The nurse called dad so he could sign some papers , the hero or I would say Alexander said he would handle the funeral preparations , the angel known as Angelo was talking over the phone , I guessed he informed the rest of the family about her death , I was sitting next to her bed , holding her hand , and examining her face , I was so deep in my thoughts until the doctor shook me so he could take her out of the room , so they can use it again for other patients , Angelo called me so we could go to his friend's work , the ride was oddly quite , it was strange because it was raining and the sky was grey , guess mom's death really affected my life , we arrived to our destination , he came out and hugged my brother, mom liked him a lot , his nickname was the magician , because he always would make mom laugh even if she was in pain , they broke the hug , so he could hug me , he said that it was okay to cry , but I couldn't , he owned one of the most popular bakeries in our city , my brother ordered food and patisseries for the guests who'd be present after the funeral , then we returned home , they were a lot of car's parked in front of the house , guess everyone came , from grandma to my little cousins , we opened the door to meet aunt Maria , mom's twin sister , she hugged Angelo , and when she wanted to hug me , I stopped her and run to my room , I couldn't , I sat in corner hugging my knees and rocking back and forth while singing mom's favourite song , suddenly someone hugged me , it was grandma , I knew it , she was warm and full of affection , her long black dress covered her legs , and the sleeves were wide at the end , she was patting my back and whispering cry my little bunny cry , I said back " I can't , I just can't , it's like someone is stopping me " , my voice was full of despair , we stayed like that until darkness was the only thing I could see .

     I opened my eyes to find Chris lying next to me in my bed , I was thankful it was him , since I'm not to fond with the other cousins , I felt his hands hugging me , we stayed in that position , until aunt Maria came to the room , she joined the hug , and apologized , I told her that it wasn't her fault and that she didn't hurt me so she could apologize , she was the only single one in grandma's kids but she loved us , all of us , and she took care of us all the time , she then told us that breakfast is ready and that we should eat , we went down to find the whole place full of my family members even from dad's side , guess everyone loved mom , I went to sit next to granny ; mom's dad ; because I knew she was the only one who could make me eat , and yes she succeeded , she fed me even if I was refusing it , alexander came home breaking the silence , " prepare yourself we're going to bury mom " , everyone went so they can change , but I couldn't move at all , I wasn't prepared yet to give up on her , I picked my fork so I could finish breakfast since I know that mom disliked full plates after a meal , while I was eating my tears fell , I was crying and eating at the same time , when I finished my meal , I felt him hugging me and whispered " mom is proud of you , don't ever forget it " , I went to my room , opened my closet and found it , the black dress , I took it and wore it , grandma entered my room and brushed my hair , I looked at the mirror and sighed , mom I'm not going to disappoint you , we went to the graveyard , I was holding my granny's hand and walking like a dead person .

       We were standing in front of a big hole, guess that's mom new house, I didn't pay attention of my surrounding, I was looking at mom's coffin, wondering if she could hear us or if she was comfortable, my eyes started watering, and my hands were shaking, I couldn't stay in there anymore, so I turned and started running, suddenly I felt pain on my left side, the ground welcoming me and darkness my only friend.