Aries: makes fun of you all day but gives head later
Taurus: feeds you to fatten you up so you never leave them
Gemini: pretend they hate you but kills people that talk shit bout ya
Cancer: had already planned your wedding
Leo: has already planned your wedding but is keeping an open mind
Virgo: refuses to accept the facts and probably will hit you
Libra: buys you gifts but also expects gifts from you
Scorpio: actually never stop loving you even if they hate you now
Sagittarius: loves you but only for a day
Capricorn: keeps the relationship fresh the whole time you're together
Aquarius: feels 90% love 10% hate
Pisces: tries to get everyone to start shipping them
