"What the flip just happened?" I asked Yoeli, swinging the sword around clumsily. Yoeli thought for a few seconds, then said, "We must have sent him somewhere." "How?" I said. Yoeli didn't answer. Instead, he said, "What d'you reckon about Yitzchak?" "Who cares right now?" I said. "The problem is us right now. We're dead and stuck in this Tartar. We need to find a house-" "And learn how to fight," he interrupted. "Fight?" I said. "Why would we want to do such a nasty thing?" "Open your eyes, you idiot," he replied. "Look at what's at everyone's belt. Swords." "They're demons, apparently," I snapped. "Any dead holding swords?" "Uh - yes," he replied, gesturing around. "They're probably not only demons - remember what Henry said? Only about 50% of the population are demons." "Fine," I said. "You win that one. But the problem remains. What are we doing now?" "Let's see the sights and venture forth into the unknown and hope that we don't perish," replied Yoeli. "You are losing it," I muttered under my breath. "Oh you haven't got to know me yet," Yoeli said. How did he hear me?
The thing about Tartar is that they have the most bizarre street names, I thought as we turned down Gupplewumble Boulevard. I noticed that people were glaring at us all along Gubblewumble Boulevard and even along Gubblewumble Court... It looked like they were on different sides of some argument and we were a common foe. We turned into an alley and we were cornered by three burly men who told us: "Halt, or we shall run these spears through you, and drop your sword. Are you on John's side or Larry's side?" I dropped the sword just as the three men asked me to. Yoeli then stood tall and said, "Who the flip are you? And who the flip are John and Larry?" The tallest of the men laughed and pulled out a cigarette from a pouch in his waistcoat. John is the goodie. Larry -'' He walked up to Yoeli and brought his fist back, then crashed it smack into Yoeli's nose. "Owww!" howled Yoeli. "You broke my nose, you devil in hell!" "And you think I care?" sneered the tall man. Then he lit his cigarette and said: "Let's take you to the general; she'll know what to do with you." He signalled to his men for some rope. I picked up the sword and threw it at the shortest one. It soared through the air and managed to hit the shortest and least beefy man with the pommel, knocking him out. "How dare you?" the tallest one roared, and because he was so angry, the cigarette fell out of his hands and he accidentally extinguished it with his foot. He swore out loud. Then, he took his cigarette pouch out of his waistcoat and selected two special cigarettes. Instead of the usual white paper on them, it had a special golden paper on it. He got the conscious man who hadn't spoken yet to tie us up and then, the tallest man shoved the cigarettes into our mouths. Beside me, Yoeli was having a complete meltdown. "I will never smoke a cigarette in my life!" he bawled. I admit that I also never wanted to smoke but I, clearly am a more dignified person that my new friend. The man then lit the cigarettes and everything went black.
My eyes stung like mad. It felt as though onions were being injected into my eyes. I opened them but that didn't help. I rolled over and saw that I was on a tiny pull-out bed in a cell; Yoeli was waking up in the cell to my right. I closed my eyes again. "Do your - aw geez - eyes - flip - sting as well?" said Yoeli's voice. Then I heard him sit upright saying, "I hear footsteps." I rubbed my eyes against the bed (it made it sting worse) and sat up too. A tall, stocky, and elegant looking woman was marching down the stairs. "Hello, dears," she said. Despite the pain, I couldn't help thinking that this woman's voice sounded exactly like I imagined that Dolores Umbridge's voice would sound like. Neither of us replied. She told us that the only thing in that cigarette was a sedative with a side-effect of extreme eye stinging. Then, she took a green bottled liquid out of her pocket and put the tiniest amount on both of our left eyes. The pain in my left eye diminished the tiniest bit. "It's an antidote," she explained. "I gave you only a little bit. If you cooperate, you can have the rest of the mixture. "And if you don't - it'll get worse tomorrow when I come and try again. It'll keep getting worse until I give you the antidote which will is when you cooperate. And if you never, you'll eventually kill yourself because you can't stand it any longer." I and Yoeli exchanged looks and I said: "First tell us who you are and why we are here." she told us: "I am John's representative in these parts, the general. You are here because you were supposed to be dead and far from here. Tell me your decision tomorrow morning." Then she walked out.
After the general left, Yoeli told me: "I'm starting to think that John is the bad guy. Do you think we should cooperate?" I mulled it over for a minute and said: "We should pretend to cooperate and then escape and find out what the flip is going on! I think we should escape tomorrow evening." "Or," Yoeli said, "We could try to tackle her and steal the antidote from her." He rubbed his eyes. "Ok," I said. "We'll try your way - if it doesn't work, we'll pretend to cooperate." I rolled over and tried to fall asleep, but sleep only came to me just before dawn.
By tomorrow evening, I was the most tired I'd ever felt, both alive and dead, but the pain in my eyes, which had got about fifty times worse, kept me awake. Then I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "Hello, dears," said the general. "The name is Eve. Now, do you wish to cooperate?" she asked, unlocking my door and sitting in front of me. "Yes," I said. "Wonderful, wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Now, naturally we all want to know how you happened to come to Tartar, of all places, the very country that we are operating in. So?" "No idea," I said quickly and bluntly. She raised her eyebrows. "Now, now, darling, think of the position that you are in and the position that I-" I lunged at her legs, swinging back my hand for the best punch of my life (even better than all the ones I'd used on my brothers and sisters). One moment I had my hand up to punch her, next moment I was lying face-up on the floor, a sharp Marine Combat Knife at my throat. "-am in. A darn good one would you say? I mean, I have the Marine Combat Knife, you have nothing. And your eyes are in tremendous pain." She stayed like that for a minute or so with Yoeli shouting insults at her and I lay on the ground, trembling from head to toe, then resheathed her knife and said, "I'll be back tomorrow, at it'll be your turn, sweetheart," nodding to Yoeli, "have a good a night's sleep, babies!" She locked my door and strode off upstairs. The moment her feet had vanished up the stairs, I voiced what I had been thinking that whole interrogation. "She's coo-coo in the head!" "More like mental," said Yoeli. "You good?" "Been better," I replied.
Hours and hours later, I woke from my sleep with a start, my eyes on fire. There was a stocky figure with a black cloak at my door, holding a knife. "Yoeli," I hissed. He bolted awake, his hands going to his eyes, his stomach letting out a gigantic rumble. "What?" he whispered back. I gestured outside my door at the person with the knife. His eyes widened.
***
"What do you mean 'the threats were captured but wouldn't give information'?" the man roared. "It means exactly what you think it means," replied Merlin smoothly. "I was going to capture a guard like you wanted me to - and succeeded - and the general comes running out to me and says 'Sir, Merlin, they're not giving information!' and runs back inside. Now here is the guard, my Lord," he added sarcastically. "Throw him in the high-security cellar," barked the man. Merlin exited. "How bad can this get?" he shouted to the air. Well if they're giving information, he thought, it would be time for him to interrogate them ... stupid Eve, what approach did the idiotic woman even take? "My Lord," said a nervous voice from the tent doorway, "they escaped." The man turned his head so quickly he gave himself a headache. "Who escaped?" he snarled, though he was certain he knew the answer. And sure enough ... "The threats," said the nervous voice. The last thing he saw was a spear burying itself in his neck.
***
"He killed one of his servants for giving him bad information - that Yoeli and Yuval escaped," Penelope said. "Goody good," smirked Gighliger. "So convincing her was worth it, wasn't it? She proved useful and I know she's going to be a big part in the outcome of this, ah, argument." "So what's the next move, your Royal Highness?" asked Penelope. Gighliger's smirk faded away as she mulled that one over. "Send Henry to explode High Court Station," she said after a few seconds of thought." "What will that do, your Majesty?" Penelope asked. "It'll make the escape easier," replied Gighliger. Penelope nodded; it made sense. "And then it's about time that they actually learned to fight," continued Gighliger. "Right," said Penelope. "The easiest way to do that would probably be to tell Henry to alert his assistant - you know the one I'm talking about - and from there it'll be pie ... hopefully," finished Gighliger. Penelope stood there for a moment, gazing at the ceiling as she figured everything out. Then she curtsied and said, "No problem, your Royal Highness." "Thank you," Gighliger replied. Then Penelope left. Why do we have to live in such a complicated world? she thought. I mean, I can handle it but everything depends on everything else ... if there's an element in play which I don't know about ... gosh, that could ruin everything. Or if there's a spy on Jacob's or my team.... She shuddered at the thought.
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THE UNDERWORLD
פנטזיהA story about two boys who died and went to the underworld. both Yoeli and Yuval died under suspicious circumstances. Yuval was killed by a superhero from a movie and Yoeli by his dad. They get drawn into inner politics in the underworld and must fi...
