I'm a Survivor

Prologue

My name is Joylyn Elizabeth Broecker, and this is my story of surviving sexual assault. In this story I will be not using and publishing all the real names of my abusers, friends and allies but their true identities will be revealed at the end of this disastrous tale. I am 14 years old, born on September 13th 2005, my whole life, I have been physically abused by my mother, Esther Broecker. She was a single mother raising my sister and I on her own, so I don't blame her for the stress she felt, taking it out on young children was wrong though. My mother was born in South Korea and spent the first two years of her life there, until my grandmother adopted her and brought her back to America. My grandmother and grandfather physically abused my mother her entire life, going so far as holding her up against an electric fence as punishment, my mother was their Cinderella until she moved in with her Godparents at age 17. Her own god father sexually assaulted her when she lived with them, and her entire upbringing caused her severe depression... so you would think she'd understand.
When I was 11 I expirenced sexual assault from my God Father, lets call him Hugo Wright. My mom had to wake up early to take my sister, Brooklyn, to the hospital to get her teeth pulled. She had asked Hugo to come to our house that morning and wake me up and watch me until it was time for me to go to the hospital to see Brooke. I mean, we'd known him and his family since before I even turned one year old, so there was no need to worry. I can't remember what led up to this moment, what led up to this one part of the morning that stuck in my mind, I don't even remember how I had gotten out of bed that day. We were laying on the couch, my back to his front and his arm was around my waist and I was half asleep. He was like a father to me, I've never met my birth father and he was all I had known my entire life so I was carefree in his arms, I trusted him. Then he moved his hand, and put it between my legs. My eyes shot open, he was moving his hand and I felt scared, I had never felt scared like this around him before... He moved his hand again, and put it underneath my leggings, keeping it moving and it stayed like that for a while... Until he moved it again, and it went under my underwear this time. His phone went off. It was my mom, he moved his hand and read the message to himself. It took him a moment, and I rolled off the couch, laying on my back on the floor just breathing and telling myself it wasn't like that. He set his phone down and he rolled off the couch after me, he placed his hands on each side of my head and hovered over me. I can still remember exactly what his face looked like when he smiled at me that moment. I rolled out from under him and told him I was hungry, so he made me an omelette and we headed out to the hospital. The next day, my mom, my sister and I were all just standing by the kitchen sink, and I brought it up. I told my mom not to freak out, and I told her what happened. She didn't freak, she just called my god mom, Hugo's wife, Tiffany Wright. I told my godmother what he did, and she told me she would handle it. A few minutes later, Hugo called. He apologised and told me he didn't mean to make me feel uncomfortable. I believed him and I let it go.
Over that summer, the summer before I entered middle school, my mom sent me to "Middle School Camp '', a program organized by my town's collation. They covered things like drugs and alcohol, and sexual abuse. I became aware of what it meant to be sexually abused and I came to the realization that what my god father had done isn't fixable with a call to say he was sorry. Then, two years later, I was 13 and I went to the doctors office for a check up before going back to school. I was old enough for my mom to not be in the room when the doctor asked me questions about my body, my experiences and all that. So my doctor pulled me into a seperate room and she handed me a note pad with a survey on it. She sat down next to me and we filled in the survey. One of the questions asked if I had ever been inappropriately touched or even raped. I said yes. My doctor proceeded to ask if I had reported it or not, if my abuser was still in my life, if my mom knew, all sorts of questions. I answered and she then went into the other room with me and my mother and told my mom what had happened. She was acting all surprised, like she had never heard about this before. I was confused because I did tell her, I remember telling her. Then I said so, and she changed her story, saying that I had only told her part of the story. And even if I had only told her part of it, the situation still should have been reported. My mom now didn't have a choice but to remove my god parents from mine and my sisters life, and two years after that, I still havent been served justice, I still haven't been able to face him in court.
September of 2019, my mom brought home a boyfriend. My sister and I got to know him as Mr. E, and he was really nice... 4 months ago, his mom and sister came to visit him here in Michigan from chicago where they live and where he was raised, we all went out to Round 1 arcade at the mall and my sister and I ran around playing games while the adults played pool over drinks. Mr. E was upset because his ex wife was refusing to let him see his 3 girls, I saw that he was upset and I went over to him to see if he was ok. He hugged me, and at first it was just a normal hug, but then he grabbed my hair in his fist and held my head closely to his chest, it hurt and I couldn't move. When it got later, we left the arcade and went back to the hotel where we were staying nearby. Mr. E went into the room with his mom and sister, right next to my family's room for a bit, and they got into a big fight so when he returned to our room he was really upset so we all went to bed. My sister and I were sharing a bed and were fighting over the blanket, Brooke decided she had had enough so she moved to my moms bed with her and her boyfriend for the night, so I had a bed all to myself. This was all a bit of a surprise trip, my mom had just sprung it on us that day and my sister and I had no time to pack anything before leaving, so of course that night I had to start my period. It was late and everyone was asleep, except my mom's boyfriend. I told him what had happened and he ran next door to get me a pair of his sisters pants to wear for the night. He came back and I changed, I took my time in the bathroom, and when I came back out, he was in my bed asleep. There was no room to lay with my mom and sister, and there was room beside him despite his being a pretty big dude, so I laid on my side of the mattress.
I just stayed there awake for a while trying to go to sleep but I couldnt, and then Mr. E rolled over, his arm landed over my waist. I froze. I froze like I did with my god father before rolling off the sofa. Mr. E stayed with his arm like that for bit, asleep... "asleep."