Your Pathetic Life

As you stand there stuck in your thought, wondering why you have become this, many thoughts rushing through your head, you realize you are nothing. You are not important until you die. Nothing anyone tries telling you will ever change this. You realize your born in a generation where sadly no one gives a shit. Not that anyone ever has.

Your brother is a pothead piece of shit with a daughter that he doesn’t appreciate. He wastes his job money on weed and unnecessary shit. He lives his life fighting for stupid ignorant shit. He thinks the world is on his shoulders tries committing suicide at one point of his life. What a waste of a 20 year old young human. No one will ever fix him. He’s so broken as much as you by seeing how broken your family has come. Everything is being tore down. His world of always being in jail, never being there for his little baby girl because he feels his world has no point. For soon hers will feel the same. For the love of only a mother is not the same as the love of a father. And soon he will be the same father he had. The story repeated. What a pathetic life.

While your still here wondering what will come out of your life, your also pathetic little stupid life. You see what your oldest brother has gotten into. A story a bit brighter than the other, but sadly not perfect. He as well has a huge dilemma. His wife treats him like shit while he works his ass off trying so hard to be the father he never had for his young beloved, beautiful daughter. His wife with a brother with big narcotic problems. Goes to jail and she was part of this bringing your brother down with her. What is his daughter to do now. For she is only 3.

Your now sitting staring blankly at the wall, you try to close your eyes and open them hoping this all went away. No difference this world is making you cold and silver. You have anger swelling faster than the act of blinking. Darkness expands inside of you. You start isolating your self, thinking of the rest of your family.

Your other brother, always acted like this whole family destruction never affected him, but as your father did to your mother, he same, hit his wife. Although he loved her as much as his son. What a violent family that will most likely soon fall apart, as the family he once had did.

Your heart cant take anymore as you think of the last person. Your father. Oh what a father. Just where have you ever been? Your eyes now tear of anger, pain, and depression. Where has he been for you, why doesn’t he open his eyes and see the beautiful little girl he could’ve embraced. Where is he for you. You realize you are all alone. Your dad is still and always will till the day he dies, drinking, talking shit of the mother that you couldn’t imagine being out of your life. He’s drunk, you haven’t seen him in what feels like years. Now your anger is rising. You get colder within.

What a beautiful fucking childhood you had right. Cops at your house always came for your brother. You always crawled into a corner as you silently rocked, tearing, cold, as you watched your mother get beat til her eyes were closed. What a beautiful memory of your childhood as your brothers were all lost. Feeling same or maybe worse than you do.

What are you? Who the fuck are you?! You aren’t shit! At least that’s what everyone else thinks of you. You start believing it. You have fallen into a whole you cant crawl out of. Your life isn’t shit. Why the fuck are you here? This world is darkness. Why are you here. As loud as you try screaming no one hears you. As loud as you try screaming into someone’s ear, no one will ever hear you, oyur invisible and no one gives a shit about you. You need to die. Then you will have people as fake as plastic barbies hear you, but its too late. You cant notice how fake they are and you are now in a world where soon everyone you know will be seen again.