Little can be understood when everything you think is made to be a terrible secret. You learn to bury everything, hiding it forever from the light. Never allowing yourself to see every curve, etch and mark on your own thoughts.
People assume that you just are empty and dead inside. While you are full and beginning to feel all your thoughts boil within the depths of yourself. You are fully alive but you had to destroy yourself little by little so you didn't spill over.
You've learned to not feel emotions that would make others uncomfortable. Because you must be a comfort to everybody, but the same is not required towards you.
If you broke your tears would be used to drown you. Your fire would be used to scorch you. Your tongue would be your only food. Your hand used to choke you out. Breaking would lead to death.
So I thought. Then someone let me be myself. Little by little I broke. I still hide some of my pieces but I've felt more whole broken apart with this someone then I ever did being whole under the pressure of the world. Part of me wants this to last forever while another part tells me it's doomed to fail.
Whatever the outcome I will treasure these moments for a long time. Even as I see that these moments are ending soon. I hope that they won't stop but life has never been that kind to me.
