The chapters of guilt

Number 1

The chapters of guilt. Number 1.

From the very beginning she knew; she knew how this would play out, how her story would end.
Yet she seeked the thrills another had to offer.
Something to make her heart beat faster and the butterflies inside her flutter.

A little bit of fun she would often repeat, her mind churning over and over.
A cocoon formed in her head. This made her question, this made her guilt blossom.
Time and time again she threw the bait for her mind and led it onto a path.
One of destruction, pleasure, contentment or deep sorrow?

Words reached her ear but they bounced straight back. The words she wrote didn't appear. A sentence couldn't form.
The wings she once adorned lay blistering at her side condemned to lay, shackled.
Words, numbers and letters left her pen but never surfaced on the paper.
A pool formed of letters that no person could make out. Perhaps if you glanced you could just make out his name.
A name of letters, a name she loved. Regrettably not a person she could love. Fun would be the death of her.

Here she sat typing, each word set off the cacophony of quivering in her mind.
People passed her all hours but she didn't seem to care about them. She just wanted one.
The one who startled those butterflies. That one person you meet in your life you believe is the one.
The one mistake. The one she dedicated her time to. The one who would eventually destroy her.
She worked like an owl. Her motivation sprouted in the confines of the abyss.
But no longer she could work for he was a snake.
His motivation dropped when the sun did. So far she could agree at night he only had thoughts for her.
By all accounts she was wrong. The game for silent suffering and torture had begun.
Regret still held no power over her mind but furiosity did and her hypocritical tornadoes stirred.

"How dare he"

But was he ever hers to be angry at?