Collision

A year.

A year since Harry had died.

A year since Ron had lost everything.

The grief was mind-numbing in its intensity. Sometimes Ron felt like he would never be happy again. But he knew that he couldn't wallow in his grief, not when he had two children to take care of. Alone. He missed Harry so much in those moments. Like when their daughter had received an honour roll award from her primary school (Harry had insisted she attend Muggle school before Hogwarts), and Ron had found himself wishing that Harry was with them to celebrate the achievement.

The Weasleys had been nothing less than understanding about it. Even George had enough sense to stay quiet around Ron. George hadn't even made fun of Ron when he had gotten drunk one night and started crying in front of him over Harry's death. Hermione had tried to get Ron to meet new people, but immediately stopped when Ron had flown into a rage over it. He didn't want others, and the women at the bars Hermione had taken him to could go and screw themselves. But overall, the Weasleys and Hermione had tried their best to help Ron through his grief.

It didn't work. Ron never let it show in front of their kids, but he was slowly losing his mind. He could see Harry everywhere he went. When he passes by the coffee shop in the mornings on the way to work, he's unpleasantly reminded of how much Harry had loved coffee. Sometimes they had even joked about how Harry had loved coffee more than Ron. And then he's reminded that they would never be able to joke around anymore, or engage in playful banter.

Ron could swear he could hear Harry saying I love you sometimes. He never told anyone about this, since he knew how crazy it sounded. Ron suspects he is going mad. He rarely went out this past year, except for work and grocery shopping. He opted out of any outings his family and friends invited him to, instead choosing to stay at home to wallow in his misery. One time, Hermione had gotten sick of Ron's reclusive habits and dragged him out to go to the carnival with his kids.

It had turned out to be the same carnival Harry had always spoke of. When Harry was a child, the Dursleys used to take Dudley to that carnival all that time while leaving Harry with Mrs. Figg. Due to this, Harry had always wanted to visit that particular carnival, if only to spite the Dursleys. He had never gotten the chance to.

Once Hermione had seen Ron's expression upon this realization, she drove Ron and the kids back home.

It seemed as though Harry was the only thing Ron could think about these days. He knew that his family didn't understand how Ron could still be mourning over Harry with the same intensity he had a year ago, but Ron thought they were all being wankers about it. He bloody well had the right to mourn over his dead husband for god's sake!

After Harry's death, Ron remembered the long period of time in which he had set out to kill the monsters who had murdered him. Ron had even bought a gun (a Muggle machine) to kill them. He thought it was only fair, as Harry had always considered a gun to be the most effective tool for destruction. He always used to go on about how wizards were stupid for ignoring Muggle technology, which Ron had found hopelessly endearing back then. Now Ron could see Harry's point.

With a gun, he could have killed those bastards while maintaining anonymity. For all the Aurors would have known, it could have been Muggles who had killed them. That way, they couldn't look for a magical signature either, or use Priori Incantatem. And besides, Ron was an Auror himself. Who knows, he might even have been assigned to the case himself.

After Ron had bought the gun, he had spent two months formulating a plan to kill Harry's murderers (a few former Death Eaters out for revenge), and he had nearly gone through with the plan. But he couldn't help but feel ashamed of himself when he thought about what Harry might say about what he was doing. Harry had always preached about how revenge was never the answer, and Ron couldn't bear to insult his memory like that. At times, Ron had even considered pointing the gun at himself.

And Ron can't stop thinking about him. He wishes he could just shut down his mind permanently so he wouldn't feel so miserable all the time. Though Ron would never tell anybody, he's found himself contemplating suicide more times than he was comfortable with.

He was just so tired of everything. If he was dead, he would be with Harry again and he could be happy. And every passing day, Ron tried to come up with reasons as to why he shouldn't kill himself, but the list kept dwindling every day. Eventually, Ron had snapped.

Which was why he was here, driving his car up to a deserted cliff, away from wandering eyes. At the threshold of the cliff, Ron stopped the car and got out of it. He looked down at the ground about 100 feet below him. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too painful when he hit the ground.

Just as Ron was about to step off the cliff, he heard a voice say his name. He whipped around, panicked that someone had caught him. But when he scanned his surroundings, he couldn't see anyone. Dismissing it as his overactive imagination coming to play, Ron was ready to jump off the cliff when he heard the voice again.

This time, Ron was certain someone was there. "Hello?" he called out.

"Hello," a soft voice replied. Ron took an unconscious step back, the voice sounded an awful lot like...

"Ron, don't do this," Harry's voice whispered.

"I'm going mad, aren't I?" Ron whispered in disbelief.

Ron could hear Harry scoff. "You're not going mad."

"Really? That's comforting coming from someone who sounds suspiciously like my dead husband."

"Ron, people who commit suicide don't go to heaven."

"What, so you're an angel?"

There was a lingering silence between the two.

"Yes," Harry finally answered.

"I can't believe it's you."

"Well, believe it."

"This is all a bloody prank, isn't it?"

"If it was, it would be a rather morbid one, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, it's definitely you."

"Don't do this now, Ron. I promise you'll see me again soon. It'll seem like no time at all, just be patient."

"I'll expect you to keep that promise, Potter."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of breaking it. We all know how intimidating you are."

For the first time in the past year, Ron found himself laughing. Ron looked down at the cliff again. He was beginning to feel ashamed of himself. What had he been thinking? If he had done this, his children would have become orphans. And he didn't even want to think about what his family's reactions would have been.

And then Ron understood. It wasn't about forgetting Harry, it was about keeping the good memories they had made together, and moving on with life despite the loss. Despite himself, he looked back at the cliff. It didn't seem like an escape anymore. Ron let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in, and walked back to his car.

For the first time since Harry's death, Ron felt free. Like he could move past this. It seemed awful now, but Ron had faith he could overcome his grief. If not for himself, then for their children. And Ron knew he would be safe with Harry watching over him. Unless Ron had imagined it all in his grief, but he didn't want to go down that path.

This time when Ron walked down the slope, his happiness felt real. And when he got in his car and drove ahead, he felt nothing but hope for the future. But at that moment, Ron had forgotten how cruel the world could be. At the stop sign, a drunk driver ignored the red light and drove forward, crashing into Ron's car.

Ron was immediately killed by the impact.