Who Are You Ocean Eyes!

Where The Blood Flows

To be fair I'm the type that party's every night... but who can honestly judge it's just my friends and I dancing on table tops and forgetting what happened the next day to shadow us of our daily pain we feel as a teenager. Something about party's give me excitement because it's like a place where all secrets are revealed and the energy is hot and heavy and all we can do is be ourselves. It's the truth I am 17 at a Senior party why?...I guess it's to get away from my reality, sometimes my life has always been the beautiful popular girl who is nice to everyone and the truth is I am the nice person but when you have an image you don't want it's hard to be myself because people expect you to be that person, it's just me, myself, and I and that's honestly how I wanted it to be.

"Jen snap out of it" I see fingers wave in front of my eyes while the music slowly comes back into my head "Oh you said something sorry" I shake my head to return to Earth "what's up with you girl you have been acting different all night and it's kind of killing the vibe" I frown because I can't stand the sight of a fake friend but you know I have to keep that image as they say " It's nothing I just have a head ache, I think I'll just go over and get another drink" I gesture and get up walking over to the counter with the red solo cups pouring me some fireball my classic favorite, I take a sip and feel the burn go down my throat. I walk outside to get some fresh air but not so fresh considering it's contaminated by cigarette smoke from the people near me, I then sit there looking around at my surroundings but all I heard was a ring from my phone, I ignore it because I know it's my older sister telling me that I'm a disappointment and mom and dad are fighting again just the thought of it makes me lose my train of thought which is why I'm distracted lately, I take another drink swigging it down but I don't feel anything yet but I might stay sober tonight considering I don't want an 18 year old thinking that I'm easy and I'll go upstairs with him which I'm not because I give up on dating and hooking up, it doesn't satisfy me anymore and there was to many heart brakes to deal with in my young life time. I walk back in fighting against the crowd to get through to find my friend but she already split probably having a make out session with a random guy from another high school, this place is starting to get pretty heavy because now girls are starting to stripe and the guys are getting horny which is my que to leave I've already been here a couple of hours. On my way out I finally get to the front door and I open it to reveal someone about to walk in, my eyes shoot up not expecting to see a new face, I've had my fair share of party's to know who comes and who doesn't, I let myself out walking by him all I could smell was men axe with a bit of his own scent I don't know why but I was strangely attracted to it but I continued to leave because he was probably just another man to continue the heart break cycle but those golden curls can only fool the easy girls who are desperate. I never drove here my friend did which means I'm going to have to walk home but luckily I've done it numerous of times to get used to it, I walk to the far up road taking a left and continuing down, the air isn't cold but a bit windy which is bearable  so I take out my phone and putting in my ear phones listening to music so I won't be alone in my own thoughts but really all I could think of was that my sister is going to be pissed because I never answered her calls, as I walk all I can see is street lights lighting up the darkness just enough to see where you was going while walking, I've never in my life have been afraid to walk in the dark but tonight made me feel uneasy like someone was watching me from a distance but I couldn't decide if it was fear or paranoia so I walked faster I couldn't hear anything and I didn't want to because just the thought of me having to run from something makes me scared so I shake the thought from my head keeping caution while almost getting home so I take a short cut through my neighbors yard just in case so if something was following me they wouldn't know where I lived which is a dumb thing to think of at this time so I speed walk to to my back door unlocking it with my key that was under a my flower pot, I got in and locked the  door feeling better but my heart was racing so I took off my vans heading up stairs luckily my sister went to bed, I get up there and I change in my night clothes laying on my bed trying to get rid of the fear I felt so I turn on my TV watching a movie and falling asleep.