As most teens start off, mine was my experimentation with weed as I attended my new school. The school I went to was known for large amounts of kids doing weed, acid, ecstasy, and even coke. I was never hardcore about drugs so I started myself off with a gateway. The first time was with a family member, we all have that one family member thats "cool" and chill. My aunt wasn't exactly mom of the year, but she did do what we wanted and made sure her kids had clothes on her back and shit. Anyway I tried for the first time and nearly died, like literally, passed out and cried. I never knew how funny my grandmother's green couch before that day. I thought I could handle it, but every puff was choking me more than my ex during one of his viscous sex cycles. I felt my eyes roll back and I tried to breathe in but nothing was coming to my lungs. I felt my blood move so fast through my body to keep up with the pulses in my brain. My eyes were blood shot red, and I look pale like I would fall over any second. After that I ate 10 plates of chicken and fried rice and stayed to sleep for the rest of the day. It eventually become a habit after my met my friend Tia, who also smokes weed. She and I would have the best times trying to get our motion rolling, and then two turned into a crowd. I started providing money for snacks, and allow the other experience kids do the rolling, and cigar buying, and supply getting. I never been so happy surrounded by so many fucked up kids, it made me feel complete in life. One day I was invited to my first house party. It was for these girls whose birthdays were close to each other. I begged my mother and even lied, saying its for one of my closer friends. She let me go, and I got dressed in my green maxi dress and my smarter aunt let me borrow her cute sandals. I felt so hot I thought I would melt just staring at myself, then of course my self esteem kick in while I was in the car. I never been to a party before, was it like the ones in movies, with couples having sex in rooms, and beer pong and shit. I nearly pissed on myself when we got to the house. I see my two comrades, Tia and Naomi chilling on the steps. They look so hot, I thought, not in a lesbian way, but in a general, " I wish I can wear that and not feel ugly" way. I got in the door and saw strobe lights in one room, and liquor all over a coffee table in the other. There were people from my school who I thought would never see dead caught with cigarettes in their mouth, and other unfamiliar faces. As I take in my first beer, (well my first whole one without an adult, unless you count the older people at the party) it stings so bad in my throat. I was offered a stronger drink of raw tequila and wanted to vomit more, after drinking that, I got more use to the beers. Budlight had a nice taste to it. It felt cool going down and I felt the room spin like a merrigoround. I smoke a little dab with Kevin and then I was really fuck up, not even feeling my fingers, I slid down the wall, busting my ass on the floor, with some older kids laughing at me. It kinda killed my mood, and feeling embarrass I made my way to the small closet with Tia. We chilled in there, both fuck up, and talk about our feelings. Her and her "family and friend issues", and me with my sexual frustration. She then turned golden and told me about Aha, this dude who everyone somehow idolized just as similar to Gatsby. I met him by falling on him and he obliviously could tell I was fucked up and took advantage of it by his gestures of sex. He and I competed for sexual tensions and cracked at the same time of our lustful ways. Next few seconds were devoted of us going to an ally and me giving him head. His dick smelt strong, not necessarily good, but like a man. I lick the head and tried to force my small virgin throat down on his cock, but all i felt was my gag reflects kicking in. He then grabbed my chubby face and mouth fuck me. This was all going on only on the side of the house, where people could easily see me being a slut. I threw up, begging for air and then tried again, and threw up again. He saw me struggling and told me to bend over, but a powerful wave came over me. I woke up from my dream of delight, and notice his motions as well as the fact of me not having birth control. I didn't want to get pregnant, I was too scared of the baby mama reality. I groan a no at him like a cow and walk away, looking like a dumb ass. He then walk around, flirting with another girl and started rumors of my bad dick sucking skills, even though it was my first time and I was barely conscious. Aha, that black, 19, druggie had me hooked with problems. A girl at the party who he previously fuck came towards me, showing her dominance and how I was his sloppy seconds. I only felt bad for her, since she was already making out with another guy who she just met. I was eventually in the closet again, but this time crying to Tia because of the bad vibes from the drugs. She told me to drink and party and that it only gets better with guys afterwards. I can't say she was wrong or right, but only now, I would be watching myself only saying that I should of stayed home. I walked with her and Naomi back to Naomi's house and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. They ate snacks and chat as I stared into the wall. We later found out Aha stole Tia's house and she calls him an asshole. He finally gets a real nickname besides "Aha". My mother picks me up around 10 am the next day. She can only see the fatigue in my eyes and tells me in the car how I must of been partying really hard.I don't tell her a word, not letting her know a single thing of what happened that night. I decided not to do drugs, a few weeks later after my mom found out. It was scary being on mojo, it wasn't real weed, even the real deal was scary sometimes for me. I went to a mental health center and recovered myself, my previous self. I told her that I'd never allow myself to get caught up, and I haven't touch a single joint since. My piss is clean, and I only drink with family on special occasions. I decided that now's not the time to do drugs, fuck random guys, and ruin my life. I'll wait til college.
