Spotlight on the Mirror

Chapter Ten

During rehearsals for Giselle, Holliday put on a brave face and danced as she was instructed too but her heart wasn't in it. Her joy was gone and everyone noticed her depressed mannerisms. Everyone looked at her with such pity that she stopped looking at people in the eye. Madison watched helplessly as Holliday withdrew from the world and slipped into her own despair. For that reason, it seemed that she made sure to spend as much time with Holliday while ignoring her own personal happiness. Even though Holliday loved her grandma, not even Ms. Lena could put a smile on her face.

Holliday felt as if her life was over and when she wasn't at CC's, she was in the fetal position on the bed where she cried uncontrollably. Her grandma had called her mom to inform her of what happened but Renee couldn't provide any words of encouragement except to say, "I told you so". Holliday just hung up on her mom and blocked her number. The last thing in the world that she needed was a unsupportive bitch of a mother giving her more grief.

Slowly, she stopped talking to everyone and only had short conversations with Madison since they lived together. She knew that their time of living together had a end date but she still had no plans. Holliday hated feeling like she was one place away from living in a homeless shelter but what were her options after graduation.

As much as Holliday wanted to cheer herself up, she couldn't find one thing that would make her happy again. Her whole life was in shambles and she had no clue how to fix it. Due to the stress, she started to lose weight and suffer from daily headaches. All she could feel was failure and pain. If it wasn't for that, Holliday wouldn't feel anything at all. She knew Madison was trying to help her but how could she expect anyone to help her if she couldn't help herself.

Being concerned for Holliday's well-being, Ms. Lena obtained permission to allow Holliday to stay a week with her at the senior apartment complex. Since CC's was rehearsing The Nutcracker, Holliday was excused for the week since she wasn't dancing in it. At that point, Holliday couldn't give two fucks and spent the first few days on her grandma's couch wrapped in a blanket. Ms. Lena tried to feed her but Holliday was down to only eating one meal a day. It's all her stomach could tolerate before she felt sick.

Ms. Lena started to feel that Holliday was being negative and needed to snap out of it but Holliday knew what she was feeling was more than just having less than positive thoughts. It was like no one could understand her pain and sadness. Why couldn't people see her lost desire? Everyone knew her passion and knew of her defeat so why couldn't they understand? She was depressed and nothing made her feel calm except for lying down and getting lost in her own thoughts.

Even in her state of dysfunction, she still noticed that her grandma looked tired and was slightly limping. She knew that she should be taking care of her grandma since she had just gotten over the common cold but she didn't even have the energy to care for herself. A few days later on her last night, she called her grandma into the living room for a short talk.

"Grandma, what's going on? I know you had a cold a few weeks ago but you still look sick and you're limping."

"To be honest, I had the flu and it really took a toll on me."

"The flu? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you have your own life and I didn't want to bother you. It's my fault though. I refused to take the flu shot and that damn sickness nearly killed me!" Ms. Lena stated with slight laugher.

"This isn't funny! You almost died? Why didn't you take the shot? Gosh, I feel sick," Holliday asked almost out of breath.

"Not figuratively but I did feel like death. Plus, you know that I don't like the chemicals used in these new vaccinations. I did forget that I live among the walking dead and these crypt keepers are always sick."