an: this chapter contains spoiler of Grey's anatomy so if you haven't watched season 6/7/8/9 yet, you're unlucky lol
song: I miss you, blink-182
I walked home after this short conversation. Maybe the universe really wants to tell me not to die but I don't care about the universe. Hell, the universe never cared about me.
I open the door and put the keys on the kitchen table.
My fridge is empty and my only alternative is pizza. I order a cheese pizza since I'm a vegetarian. I don't mind people eating meat even though I like to tease them with sentences like 'You're eating a dead animal'. The pizza guy arrives 40 minutes later with my pizza. I take a beer bottle out of the fridge and open it. Chances to die can always be taken away but it doesn't mean you don't get another chance. My next chance is tomorrow.
Two hours later I'm cursing at Owen for cheating on Christina. This hurts me even more because I've been cheated on myself. I know how bad it feels. You feel unwanted and ugly. I still hate James for what he has done.
I'm drunk and i had minimum 6 bottles of beer. The pizza packet is empty and I'm crying. Suddenly the doorbell rings and I try to walk but it's really difficult in my condition. The doorbell rings again and I reach the door.
I open it and in front of me is Luke from earlier.
"Hey, what are you dooooing here", I slur and laugh even though tears are still streaming down my face.
"I live in the flat next to you but I guess we just never see each other. Your cat meowed and I wanted to know what's going on. Are you drunk?"
"Yes I am. Do you wanna come in?", I ask.
"Yeah if that's okay for you"
"I'm drunk. I will probably remember nothing tomorrow", I say and try to smile even though it looks more like a dying lama.
I step aside and he enters my flat.
"Do you live on your own?"
"No boyfriend, no mom no nothing. Just my cat and me"
"Nice. Did you eat the pizza?", he asks confused.
"I'm already fat so... I don't care. I'm going to die tomorrow since you didn't let me today.", I don't even know why I'm telling him all this. He looks at me confused.
"I hope you know you're not fat at all", he says and sits beside me on the couch.
"I'm not going to discuss this"
"Are you tired?", I'm thankful he doesn't ask about the weight thing again.
"Actually, I am not"
"Me neither. I'm tired of living but I'm not tired", he says and I laugh.
"Promise me one thing Luke. Do not try to beat my sarcasm. I'm the queen of sarcasm", I tell him and giggle. My drunk self is really annoying and emotional. That's why I'd never get drunk with someone.
"I'm not going to try to beat your sarcasm.", he says and smiles. He has a nice smile.
"It's 8pm. Do you wanna watch a movie?", he asks and I nod. We choose 'the book thief'. I'm glad he wasn't forcing me to watch a horror movie with him. I usually cry watching them and I think I have cried enough in front of him. At 10pm I tell him good night and he leaves the flat. To be honest I would have preferred myself in his arms, cuddling but you can't have everything. After he left I went into my bedroom and now I'm trying on dresses. I have two wardrobes, one for my clothes and one for all the dresses. My mum had a weird obsession with vintage dresses. I like band tees more but I'm open for everything. She really liked these old dresses, not the slutty short ones. They were given to me after she died and I often wear them when I'm alone and feel empty. It reminds me of my mum and how she would always tell me that I looked beautiful in these dresses. She was my favourite person in the world and I miss her so much.
Her funeral was probably the worst day of my life. I sobered up a bit and I put my blink-182 CD in the CD player and listen to it. After 10 minutes I hear a knock on my door. I open the door and in front of me is Luke.
"What are you doing here again?", I ask and smile.
"Do you like blink-182?", he asks and I nod.
"I love them", I say and he smiles.
"Do you mind if I stay here? We could listen to the CD together"
"Okay"
❄❄❄
blink-182 is such a great band
idk if it's too short or not lol but here's your new years update even though you already got an update today
happy new year ❤
ps: I couldn't find I miss you by blink-182 so here's the 5sos cover :)
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17th Floor, l.h
Teen Fiction"Have you heard of the 17th floor?" "No, what's that?" "That's the place lonely souls jump into happiness" ©2014 WARNING: This story contains depression, swearing etc. if you're not comfortable reading this, don't read it !
