the only words you have for me - chris motionless fan fic

chapter 3- because of you im ashamed of my life

"okay.. well when i was small my father would beat my mother, i dont know why he just would, he was the type of man that would kill you in your sleep just for being asleep but anyway mum would always try to hide the bruises and at night i knew wht was happening even though it had happened so many times she still screamed but tried to be quiet for me and my sister. once he lost it and hurt  mum so badly..." i could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but chris just grabbed my hand and let me hold it. " he hurt her so badly that she started to have a seizure and he.. shot her, put her down like a wounded dog. i dont remember mum much but i can remember her face and voice. after mum died he started taking it out on me. beating me worse that he did mum and by now i was only 7. one day he went off crazier than usual. he got a kitchen knife and started attacking me... i still have the scars to this day." i said playing with chris' hand "where?'' "on my stomach and back" he moved his hand and pulled my shirt up and putting his hand on my mid section lightly grazing over all my disgusting scars. "and then after that i was never really the same but one day my sister came into my room telling me that i had to run, i didnt want to leave her but she told me i had to be strong and do what mum would have wanted. she handed me a locket with a picture of me her and mum. she told me to run and never look back so i walked out of my room but tripped over and my so called father heard and came out with his gun he saw me and then my sister she yelled run. run. i love you dont come back for me. she went and fought him while i ran out the door and the last time i saw my sister was her falling to the floor dead. i ran and i ran for i dont know how long. eventually i found an old couple who took me in and cared for me they taught me everything i know about music. and then i started singing and playing and i was found by a producer and started my life now but i still try to keep in contact with that family but every day im scared that man will find me.. scared that he'll kill me." by now i had tears spilling over and chris pulled me into a tight hug. "im sorry i asked skyler i didnt know" "it's okay i needed to tell someone eventually, it was killing me inside" " i bet it would holding something like that bottled up" "what about you whats your story?" "well my parents were always supportive of me and cool like that but i got bullied and i went to some pretty dark places but now im here doing what i want to be doing. playing for fans and i wouldnt change that for the world." "don't you miss being close to people like your family, friends and girlfriend?" i couldnt help it i had to know if he did have one and now was the best time. "i miss them of course but when im home i just cherish the time we have together even more and as for a girlfriend i honestly haven't had one in so long i get lonely but it's hard to maintain a relationship when your one the road and they dont understand what it's like and that i can't call or text them whenever i just feel like it. what about you how does your partner feel about it?" "haha i don't have one. i wish i did sometimes but i know that not many people can understand ow i need to live for my career and that travelling isnt really a choice even though i do love it." "yeah umm can i ask you a personal question?" "i thought these questions were already?" i said giggling lightly so no one would wake up. "well yeah but this ones just awkward.. are you still a... umm not deflowered?" "what?" "you know not been with anyone" "umm i might be weird but i've been in a relationship" "no i mean like have you umm you know lost your v's?" "v's?? oh you mean my virginity? ahaha" i said getting blushy and trying to hide my face under the blanket. "yeah... so have you?" " no... but it's not like i haventwanted to ya know do it but its just that i never get close enough to a guy to the point that thats going to happen. have you?" "i've had sex with a woman, yes" "okay.." "are you scared to you know lose it?" " i don't know i've heard it hurts.." "it does at the start but then it gets better" "okay" i said trying to hide my blush even more under the blankets."well..um.. im going to sleep night night Christopher robin" "im not Christopher robin, im chris. night night babe" omg he called me babe. i knew today was going to be  good but i dont know about tomorrow we have our  first show.