Unsure

Potato Salad

Grasping the moss between my fingers, watching as the suns rays shift through the leaves and needles. Shimmering gold causing the bold greens to turn translucent, causing the veins and lines of the leaves to peak through proving that life is pulsing through the woods even when all is quiet.  
     Breathing in the earthy tones of the moss and fallen leaves while smiling at the contrast between the musk and the fresh air being pulled from the lake, almost as if the forest was inhaling a gust before settling in for the sunset. Laying there was, truly, my happiest place to be. No other sounds or interactions besides the chipping of the frustrated chipmunks who has been beside himself at the fact that I had taken residence under his towering oak.
     Tracing a fallen leaf with my index finger, I sigh, know that soon someone will wander into my peace and drag me out from under the shimmering blanket of the canopy. Even with the knowledge that I couldn't stay for an unending period of time I still tense thinking about heading back to the cabin nestled in the the trees along the shore. Not that it isn't peaceful there too, in its own special way, it just flounders when compared to my moss covered sanctuary. 
     Sticks snapping in the distance prods itself into my ear, summoning from the hold the forest encased me in. Trying to savor the last few moments of my spot know I may not get another chance this summer to be here uninterrupted. Sniffing comes within earshot and a grin spreads across my face wiping my attempts at stillness away.
     A quick stipe of a soft sloppy tongue graces my cheek earning a soft giggle and a scrunched nose from me. Peaking one eye open I see curious brown eyes and drooping cheeks with the smallest bit of slobbery bribing from them. Trying not to move too suddenly, knowing that the culprit of the sloppy kiss with lunge at any sign that even remotely resembles play.
     Bugs watches as I push onto my elbows, lifting one hand to scratch behind his left ear. Wagging tail and excited puffs of breath are my thanks for the love as Bugs takes his place as close as physically possible to me. One inch closer he would be sitting in my lap. Bugs is another one of my happy places, anytime he graces me with his presence my hear swells. He is the most adorably dopey black lab to ever grace this earth, sadly his owner is also happens to be the most jaw dropping individual to ever bless my eyes as well.
     As happiness is plastered on my face as I give Bugs his rightful rub down, as maddening fluttering sweeps through my stomach making my heart lodge itself in my throat . A deep, slow, and heart stopping voice glides through my shotty defenses causing me to flinch slightly. 
     "Half the time I think he loves you more than me." The tone lighthearted and smiling. Turning to face the main reason my heart is still trying to break free from my body, still trying to run from the one person who makes it skip a beat anytime even a glance with thrown my way.
     My eyes shift over him, taking in the worn jeans and old high school sweatshirt that looks as good on him it's as if he was wearing a full on tailored suit. Finally steeling myself enough to look into his eyes I see that not only was his tone smiling, he is as well. Shaking my head slightly know he would think it was about his comment and not the fact that I mentally can't wrap the mush in my head around the fact that when it comes to him I am useless.
     "I'd be willing to take him off your hands but I think he would eventually miss your lack of willpower when it comes to treats of any sort when it come to him." I chuckle slightly, while simultaneously kissing Bugs wet nose and standing from the mossy ground. 
      While shaking his head, he glances to the ground and shuffles his feet. "That is true, I have zero chance of saying no when he looks at me like he might keel over and die from not getting a treat. But that is my only true upper hand against his live for you, with out that I'm fairly certain that he would leave me with his tail wagging."
     I smirk, reveling in the fact that what he is say may be mostly true, except for the fact that the two of them have been attached at the hip since the very first second they meet.
     "Don't be too hard on yourself, Finn. He knows a good thing when he sees it hence the fact that he is gets all mushy around me, and I can't deny his love." My smirk pulling into a soft smile as I hold eye contact with Finns crinkled shining blues.
     Now, let me be perfectly clear, as I said before, my brain was mushy. Complete puddle. And although my brain was putty, my stomach churning and my heart thudding I had master the art of not acting like a complete moron when it came to Finn. Years of embarrassment can attest to the fact that while growing up with him every summer at the lake I was completely a bumbling fool around him. It's like Emerson therapy, after so many summers of being spurns him and wanting to bash my head through a door due to my puddle brain, I have honed a skill of falling apart on the inside but being mostly put together on the surface.
     As he pushes off the tree he nudged his head towards the trail leading back to my grandparents cabin, beckoning me to follow. Moving to his side I watch my feet, trying not to be my usual klutz self and avoid all obstacles grabbing for my uncoordinated feet. Bugs following behind and Finn on my right, I glance to them, piecing together who sent them to my spot.
     "My Gramps told you to summon me from my sanctuary, huh?" I ask.
     "Yep. Said that you had been out here since lunch and told me that I better come bring you back before the wood nymphs decide you were on of there own." He chuckles, probably thinking back to all the times we hunted through the whole lakeside look for the little tree people my Gramps told us lived here.
     "Sadly, no nymphs have claimed me yet. Just a brown eyed slobber monster and his guy pulling my from daydreams of them. Completely crippled my plan to slowly fade into the moss." I scold, furrowing my brown and flattening my lips. Holding his gaze makes my facade falter a bit but I quickly pull it back together and look a head.
     "Well I can leave you to that if you want, just means more potato salad for me." He shrugs and my stern look crumples and my jaw drops. Mamas first potato salad of the summer is a sacred, truly the most perfect thing and my whole family will fight to the ground for the last spoonful. "But knowing how you Fullers think of this salad I think that you will be happy to know that it is sadly in the fridge, not one spoonful gone from the bowl.... Yet."
     The way his voice lowers and his eyes glimmer with mischief makes me stop dead in my tracks. "You.... wouldn't dare." I grit out, slowly turning to him with a shine in my eyes that I'm pretty certain he is the only person to spark in me. Smirking, he holds my gaze for a moment before grabbing my hood and pulling it over my head and down over my eyes. By the time the shriek has left my mouth and the hood is thrown off, Finn is thirty yard down the trail.
      "The first spoonful is mine this year, Minnow! No chance you are going to beat me there!" He is laugh maniacally as he hauls as through the trees. I grit my teeth because I know he is right, I can't beat him to the house but I can cut him off at the lake. I sprint for my short cut, know he will be too focused on making to it the house to notice my absence behind him.
     Almost to the cutoff, I can still hear Finn laughing to himself. Smug little shit. Hearing two other voices shout out throws me even more into a frantic need to make it in enough time. My sister and brothers voice and yelling at Finn, shout that he is a prick and it's not going to happen this year. Crashing footsteps sound in my right ear and I smirk knowing that even if the first spoonful isn't mine that at least one of them is going down with me.
     The forest opens up just in time for Fin to see me spring from the green line and gun right for him. My lips stretch into the biggest shit eating grin as I see the realization that his ass is about to be grass. Taking one big leap I grab onto his waist and throw my whole body weight behind me as I take him to the ground, both of us squealing as the fly forward and head for the ground.
       Another thing I should make clear is that I do t think most things through, like the fact that tackling someone who has at least 100 pounds on me and is rock solid maybe would end up with me alive. Luckily, one of the two of us is sane and quick enough to to process that I'm about to be squashed like a bug. Finn pulls me to his chest and we begin our descent to the unforgiving earth. Wrapped right in his arms he twist so his back take the force of the fall and lets out a whoosh of air as my body presses into him.
       Scrunching my eyes shut, I wait for the anger but all I'm meat with is breathy giggles that turn into hearty laughter.
      "Shiiit, Minnow! You play one game of powder puff football last year and now you think you are some tightens or something?" He manages to wheeze out between laughs. He twists so my back is on the ground with his arm beneath my neck and the other resting on my waist. He hovers over me, smiling from ear to ear. I can't move anything. I can't move my hands from his shoulders. I can move my legs from his. I most especially can't move my eyes from his, not while smile is pushing his cheeks up and crinkling around his eye. Not when all I want to do is push is sun kissed brown curls from his face so I can see the happiness better.
     Something shifts, the mood or the air or whatever the hell you want to call it, and his eye flick down to my slightly agape mouth. He holds his eyes on them, pupils expanding slightly as he likes his own lips. His line of sight slides back to mine and his brows scrunch as he peers down at me in his arms. Opening his mouth to say something that I'm dying to hear but gets cut off by a triumphant whoop.
      We peel our eyes from one another's and turn to see Travis holding a huge bowl of potato salad in his arms. Griping a spoon tightly in his hand he plunges it into the salad scooping a bit so big it could almost be consider a full helping. We grimace as Travis shoves the whole spoon in his mouth. With potato salad lining the edges of his mouth he grins and smacks his lips together while making the most obnoxious "mmmhmm!" I have ever heard in my entire 17 years of existence.
      "That, my dear shitheads, is another Fuller Family -plus Finn- tradition that I can mark as a win for me. What is it now?" He gloats waiting for either Finn and I or my sister Phoebe who has crept behind him to answer. Nobody does. He takes that as his answer. "Too many to count, huh? Oh man, oh man! I am the freaking best! You all better now done to me."
      Travis hold his spoon out pointing at the tree of us, all the while cradling a bowl of potato salad as if it is a child. As he walks past Phoebe, she reaches out and smacks him along side the head while muttering how much of a prick he is.
      Finally not able to take it anymore, I burst out laughing. Like full on, no holds, belly laugh. I'd been holding it in the second I saw Travis grin with salad smeared over his face. Closing my eyes, one hand holding my belly and the other griping Finns sweatshirt my laughing fin eases into mild giggles. Regaining my breath, I crack one eye open when I realized that Finn is quiet.
      You know, I was going to try and use pretty word to describe the feeling I was slapped with when I saw Finn staring down at me wide eyed with his mouth hanging open. But alas, the best way to put it is, it felt like my hear was going to drop through my ass. I froze. Never in our whole friendship that has spanned since I was five and he was seven had he looked at time that way.
       "W-what?" I stammered. Completely awestruck with how closely he was watching me.
      "You have some green in your eyes." Finn whispers. "How have I never noticed that?"
      "You've never looked close enough." I state somewhat breathless. I feel like this conversation is more then just about my eyes. Almost like he has realized something that I cant put my finger on.
      "I guess not....I think that is about to change." Finns grip on me tightens momentarily before he releases me altogether.  Moving to untangle our legs, then standing and offering his hand to help me up. Bugs has found us and start liking at my fingers. I look down to give him some rubs and when I glance back up Finn is looking at me for as if it is for the first time.
      Shaking his head and tugging on our still linked hands, he motions for us to head toward the house. Slowly, as if he doesn't want to,
He drops my hand from him flexing his fingers after they lose touch with mine. "Let's go eat some potato salad be fore your family eats it all."
     The rest of the night was like any other night at the Fuller cabin except for the way Finn was acting. Usually he and my siblings would banter back and forth with me, arguing over anything. We would laugh and joke which was all present throughout the evening but I could feel his eyes on me. He was watching me, I would glance his way and he would already be looking at me, holding my gaze for as long as I could stand it. I could feel him listen to my words more intently and watch my lips smile as I laughed at Phoebe getting ready to strangle Travis. Goosebumps constantly rose over my skin causing me to shiver with nerves under his gaze.
        Finally unable to take it, I looked him up and down as he sat across from me. He watched with a subtle smirk as I raised an eyebrow at him. He stared a moment longer before tilting his head and winking at me.
       And that is how my life changed. Just one damn wink. A freaking wink.