Lucy's Silence

Prologue

"Come on, Mandy! This'll be good for her, and you know it," Peter enthused to my mother.

"But... Are you sure? I mean, she's already established in her grades, and this town is really all she knows. And... What if her roommates are mean to her? I just couldn't live with myself if she ended up unhappy," my mom glanced at me through the rear view mirror.

"Mandy, the girl hasn't spoken in 3 years. She doesn't smile, or hang out with friends..." Peter dropped his voice to a whisper, as though it would stop me from hearing him. "I highly doubt she's happy now."

Mom sighed and looked out the window. I could tell she was starting to give in to the idea. The doctor had told her I needed a change, something to kick me in the ass and force me back to life. He said that, if I wasn't willingly going to speak or attempt to socialize, then using force would be the only way. And what better way to force someone into life than to make them live with strangers in a whole new town, away from everything they've ever known?

I really hated that therapist.

As we parked and got out to go into the restaurant, Peter clapped his hand on my shoulder. "What do you think, Lucy? Are you going to talk, or are we going to have to send you off on your own?"

I stared at him for a moment before shrugging his hand off and walking past him. He rolled his eyes and slung his arm around my mother's shoulders, following me in.

I decided that I really hated Peter, too.

We sat down in a booth, Peter sitting across from my mom and I. I grabbed the tablet from the middle of the table and put my order in before anyone could say anything, then handed it to my mom so she could do the same.

"I was so surprised that Dr.Parks actually went through all that effort to find a town, apartment, and high school for her to go to, though. That doctor really goes above and beyond, doesn't he?" my mom said.

"Oh yeah, that was awesome. Great doctor, smart, funny... And a fine ass, too? That man has it all," Peter swooned. He'd had a crush on my doctor since my mom introduced them at our first family-session. Why Peter came to our family-session, I couldn't say. He was my mom's closest friend and confidante, but he wasn't family. Not even close. Not for me, at least.

"Maybe you could finally ask him out on a date, if Lucy does go."

"Think so? Do you think there should be a small waiting period between Lucy being sent away and me asking out her doctor?" Peter let out a roar of a laugh, thinking he was the funniest person.

Idiot.

After dinner, Peter drove mom and I home and went on his merry way, probably to go to a bar. The man had more of a social life than anyone I knew and made a new "friend" almost every week. His little relationships never lasted long, and I had ten guesses as to why.

I showered and got dressed for bed, then snuggled under the covers and pulled out one of my favorite books. I had started rereading it that morning for the tenth time and had been impatiently waiting all day for the opportunity to get back to it.

But of course, right as I started reading, my mom knocked on the door and let herself in. I closed the book and sat up a bit, looking at her. She sat on my bed beside me and took my hand, holding it between hers.

"Lucy, I really don't want to send you away... But... Are you even happy here? Peter seems to think you're not... But will you be happy in Pennsylvania? I mean... You're just... You're doing so well in school, I'm sure the move will make that difficult... And I just," she choked on her words, tears freely spilling down her cheeks. I thought back to my conversation with Dr.Parks earlier that morning. Something he'd said had stuck with me, something I knew was true.

"You went through something horrifying... But so did your mother. Inside, she feels like she failed to protect you. She feels like she failed as a mother. And having to deal with your PTSD, with your condition... You know it's taking a toll on her. How is she supposed to move on when you won't? Maybe this move will help you and maybe it won't... But it could also help your mom. Think about that, Lucy."

His words hurt, but they weren't wrong. In fact, he had only spoken the thoughts I'd tried ignoring for so long. But as I looked at my mother's once youthful face, took in the worry lines in her forehead and the sunken sockets surrounding her eyes, I knew I couldn't ignore those thoughts anymore. Three years of dealing with her daughter being mute had beaten her down and sucked most of the life out of her. My mom, who used to be the embodiment of liveliness, had given up almost everything and everyone she loved in order to take care of me. I knew she craved the life she had before. And it wasn't too late for her to get it all back, not yet.

Not if I acted soon.

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. I would do this for her. I would go away and get better for her. After everything she had done for me, this was something I knew I had to do for her.

I would move to a new state and start a new life... So that my mother could go back to her own.