Love is Blind

The Dark

⚠️Warning⚠️
This chapter contains very depressing stuff and shit so read at your own risk.
《I warned you》

[And a little advice from the author at the bottom]

The night was longer than I expected. Curled up into a ball on his favourite spot in the whole house at 5am. I dont remember the last time i ate a proper meal.

My friends and family visits but I dont remember the last time they did that. I was alone. I gave up fighting the darkness, and decided to be one with it. Darkness was what comforted me now. 

My phone died about 3 days ago. It layed dead on the cold floor right next to me. No messages. No calls.

The water bottle was empty since 5 days ago. There was a pack of what looked like moldy chips right next to me. At least the rats and cockroaches enjoyed it. 

It has been 10 days since he left me. Since he left me for good. That's what I told him at least. To "get out of my life for good". And so he did. He resisted for months trying to convince me to let him in once more. But like he said, everyone has their limits. 

Everyone but me…

I couldn't tell the time pass after a few days. I was alone with the heart I broke myself. I felt like I was suffocating in the darkness. There was no room to breath. Yet that was comforting in a way. 

I felt my body tumble down to the cold hard dusty floor. I haven't eaten anything for days now. Only half moldy chips. I imagined his smooth voice saying

"Please.. you have to eat. You're gonna starve. Here, say 'ahh' I'll feed you. Baby please... it hurts me to see you this way". 

I can hear his voice echo through my the halls. It was all an illusion. There was a small part of me that really wanted him to come running back to be and engulf me in his arms. That never happened...  

I started living by myself away from friends and family thinking I will live a better life that way. The image of him brought me nothing but more pain and guilt.

Sounds creepy and weird doesn't it?

That and I'm someone who needed constant attention from those who knew the real me.

Aka my friends.

I dont blame them for ignoring me. I deserve it. No one can give me the attention I need. So I deserve to die alone like this, devoured by the dark. 

Never in my life did I ever plan to die at the age of 26. I had my degree. I had a stable job. I had the money I needed to live on my own. Before I fell into this state I set all my account's balance and everything to my family until my very last paycheck. I ordered all the official merch stuff that me and my friends used to love so much for my friends a couple days ago as an apology for being the dick of a friend/human I was. I sent both my family and friends a note thanking them for putting up with me for all these years.

My deep and hollow eyes met the shiny sharp kitchen knife I brought with me when I sat there.

"Its time to say goodnight...

...Forever"

◇The end◇

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A/N: Hey guys!! I hope to go on an emotional Rollercoaster with you guys in this.... book??? Idek what to call this.

And this is just what I either dreamed of once or what pops into my head at 3am. No one should go through anything like this. Death isn't the answer to anything. Death is just a permanent answer for a very temporary problem.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be here. Just DM me and i'll answer right away.

A little advice from me: if you ever feel like looking down on yourself; please know your emotions and thoughts counts. Don't ever compare your problems to anyone else's and think they're having it worse than you. There's nothing like that.

Try writing down or talking to someone you trust about your problems no matter what it is because trust me it helps. I'm thankful for my friends for being there for me for everything and I make sure I'm there for them too.

Hope you're feeling better love💛

(Just lemme know if the story was cringe thanx :"D )

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