Immersed in his dream with the memories of Lan Zhan, Xiao Zhan’s throat let out bouts of cry and anguish.
Overwhelming emotions he cannot contain triggering his ducts made him shed tears as he whimpered in the dark.
Consciousness returning, he called out to the fading figure of the man in pure white robes with cloud patterns. “Lan Zhan...I am sorry.” he sobbed begging for forgiveness to the man he promised to love forever, through all eternities, yet regretfully had forgotten in this lifetime. “I love you, my husband.” Zhan reached his hand to the sky trying to hold onto the few remaining bits of memories of the Second Young Master of the Gusu clan...Wei Ying’s Lan Zhan...
...his Lan Zhan.
Zhan’s squall reached the opposite room Yibo had lodged himself in. The man was lost in his own thoughts, but when he heard Zhan’s grieving whimper, he bolted right up and moved in a haste rushing to Zhan’s side.
There, he found Zhan bawling his eyes out, hands trying to reach an invisible figure in the distance, his breath was racing spasmodically with his sobs filling the room with grief.
Yibo wasn’t sure whether Zhan was still imbued in a seemingly night terror, but the sight was unbearable for him to let it linger. His chest tightened with every tear that fell from Zhan’s eyes and every gasp he took to express his sorrow.
Meek and mild-mannered, Yibo sat on Zhan's side still figuring out how to comfort the other. His sudden presence made Zhan moved his head towards his direction, heart swelling with the sight of the man he was desperate to meet again.
Not knowing how to manage his muddled feelings and terrified of loosing his beloved again, Zhan caged Yibo between his arms. He squeezed him as tight as he could as if no closeness will be enough to reassure him that the man was with him and that he wouldn’t disappear.
“I’ve waited for fate to rewrite our story.” Zhan whispered, tears bursting forth from his ducts. “And now you're here, in flesh and reality...” He lifted his face up to meet Yibo’s eyes, cupping Yibo’s face with his trembling hands, caressing his subtle cheeks with his clumsy thumb, “...Lan Zhan...” Zhan breathed which made Yibo’s eyes widen. There was a waft of emotions which passed by Yibo’s usually cold eyes, but Zhan was too caught up with his own predicament, he didn’t realize a single one among those many feelings.
A small smile uplifted the corner of Zhan’s lips, “...my Yibo.” He slowly enunciated, boring every syllable to both his and Yibo’s heart and soul.
The world seemed to froze once again with them staring into each other’s eyes. There were things they couldn’t understand but they couldn’t ignore. The fact that Zhan remembered Lan Zhan from his previous lifetime is one mystery he knew he wouldn’t understand. What matters is that now he knew destiny’s purpose of letting him meet Yibo. Of why he fell in love with him, and why he shouldn’t let him go away again no matter what.
Someone once said, remembering your previous life can be both a curse and a gift.
That there’s one rule during the process of reincarnation. ‘You should not look back.’ Because if you do, bits and pieces of your previous life will remain in your subconscious. But which memory will you retain? That’s the uncertainty brought by breaking that rule. It might be a curse, bearing the resentful memories, or a gift, recalling the bright and shiny days of the past.
In Zhan's case, he is more than grateful that he was able to keep his Lan Zhan’s memory...their adventures...their love.
“It’s just a dream.” Yibo broke the silence with his monotonous voice, leaving no hint that he understood Zhan's longing. This indifference made Zhan’s confidence be shoved back in the corner and he suddenly felt a weight weighing his heart down causing him great pain. His lips trembled and his hand on Yibo’s face fell down his sides, losing all the courage he had just mustered.
He realized, even if he remembers, Yibo doesn’t.
"Forget it." Yibo quietly said. His voice was neither commanding nor demanding. It was more of a plead, which made Zhan release another set of tears.
Yibo’s hand moved on its own wanting to hug Zhan’s shaking body, but he stopped himself from letting his feelings be in control. Instead, his hand travelled to Zhan’s eyes, blocking his sight of Zhan’s tears, at the same time, halting Zhan from staring at him full of grief and longing.
“Whether the memories are good or bad. Just forget them. Don't dwell on the past. What was then and what is now are completely different, so just let the memories go." Yibo calmly stated, a roll of tear betraying his resolution.
“Grief are temporary. Memories are meant to be forgotten. So, let them go. And never look back.” He added roughly wiping his cheek of the evidence of his own words’ torment to himself.
Each second that followed his words was a ticking bomb, puzzling and disturbing Zhan’s mind. He had endured too long and too much, with just being a constant presence in the background of Yibo’s life and career. He isn’t currently in the right mind to decide, but he knew his heart’s desires will never let him astray and leave him more regretful as he is now.
Braving his heart, Zhan decided to step out of his comfort zone in the shadows and take a risk.
He gently grabbed Yibo’s hand which was blocking his sight, then interlaced their fingers savouring the sweet sparkle and touch of their skin. He felt Yibo’s muscles tensed up and he could see the shock on his face, but Zhan's mind pushed his back, 'It is now or never, Xiao Zhan.'
Therefore, Zhan let out a half-smile, placing his other hand back on Yibo’s soft cheek. “Love and hurt almost always come together, Yibo. I’m tired of waiting and hurting without even trying. And now that I finally fully realize why my heart is beating, or why I am living, I'll let all my feelings loose and satiate my heart's desire.”
Brushing the trail of tear that escaped Yibo's eyes, Zhan declared, “I love you, my Bo-di. Even before you met me. Even before I knew your name. I have already fallen for you. Will you give me a chance?”
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Author's Notes:
The last statements of Zhan, pertains not only because he loved him when he was Wei Ying, but also he fell in love at first sight when Yibo was in the balcony when they were young. Remember?
AND...! With Yibo's statements, do you think he remembers Wei Ying or NOT? 🤭🤫
I really hope you like this chapter! I was like Mr.Lam pulling my hair out last midnight to give you this update 🤣😂
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13&14-July-2020
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Fated Encounter (BJYX Fanfic) - Completed
Fiksi Penggemar"I've waited for fate to rewrite our story. And now you're here, in flesh and in reality, my Yibo." Zhan's heart swell with the sight of the man he was desperate to meet again. Yet, did time warp and bring him back to the past, when love was at its...
