I know I'll never have you. Everyday I try to reach you. Try to make you notice me, catch your attention. Just for once, I wish you spared me a glance. I wish you would just show me some love. Even as your hyung. I would appreciate that as much.
Jungkook why won't you notice me?
I know I've given you everything. I tried to give you everything. But nothing matters anymore.
It hurts.
It hurts now that you're with him. With Taehyung.
Now I can't reach you any much more than before.
I wish you loved me. It hurts to see you two always laughing, snuggling, cuddling and most of all kissing.
Jungkook do you know how much it hurts just t see you with him? I wish you'd know the feeling of not being loved by only person you might ever love.
Crying myself to sleep every night. I just can't hide the tears that have already welled up inside of me. I wish you'd know exactly how I feel. It will eat you all up.
Hoseok hyung was always there for me. He'd always comfort me when he could. I wish I could've just fallen in love with him then I'd be happy by now. I just wish.
But I told him I couldn't. I told him that I could only love you. I really hate myself for that.
Many times I tried to end my life, but I was always caught and rushed to the hospital. You were there. But I don't even know if you cared. If you cried and felt guilty, making me end up like this.
In a deep hole of depression.
"I'll just go out for a walk." I announced to the members.
"Hey! Wait a minute, Jimin. I wanna go with you." Hoseok said as he gave me a look of worry. "I know you're gonna do something stupid."
"I'm fine, hyung. Trust me." I tried to muster up a smile and convince him. He just sighed.
"Okay fine, but please come back." He pleaded and held my hand. I squeezed his hand.
"I will."
I went out of the dorm and stopped for awhile to take in my surroundings. I will miss this place.
This is the last time you'll see me guys.
I will miss you guys.
Most of all.... Jungkook.
Even if you've caused me so much pain over the months. I still love you even if you love somebody else. I'll always love you.
I made my way to the park, walking slowly. I took in my surroundings and the last breath of Seoul air.
Walking mindlessly along the streets.
As I made my way to the pedestrian lane, I knew that the stoplight was on go. I was just waiting for the perfect opportunity.
I walked mindlessly along the lane. Finally headlights flashing at me and horns honking.
I'll miss everything.
I felt impact and lay unconsciously on the pavement in a pool of blood.
Jungkook I know I'll never have you.
Its better this way.
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JONGINA worst angst one-shot ever! Well I tried to make it good huhu but that crossing the road shit and getting hit by the car, how I described it was totally shit! *hoping that you'll like it anyways* see you again! Bye~
Sydney (づ￣ ³￣)づ
