Out of Water (Fem!Percy)

Chapter twenty two

A year had passed since Percy's kidnapping. She'd kept her promise with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, effectively visiting every Tuesday, the female villains occasionally joining Percy on her patrols. She had grown closer to each of the batboys, Jason being protective, DIck being the chill one she'd go to talk with, taking care of Tim and making sure he slept, sparing with Damian. She'd playfully flirt with Kid Flash when she saw him, both of them playing into the joke and bickering, going on patrols together. Grey had settled into the knowledge that they're a demigod and would be attending Camp over the summer. Maritime had gotten the attention of the public and became a mildly common topic of conversation in Central City households.

For the most part, Percy was doing better emotion-wise. She was coming to terms with the deaths of those she given her heart to, still some nights were rough. Some nights she could make it through without a nightmare, and others she couldn't fall asleep and sobs echoed lightly in her room. Tonight was not one of the better nights.

She had settled into her large bed, wrapped up in the silk sheets. As much as she tried to rest, to shut her eyes and move into the realm of sleep, she couldn't. Painful thoughts filled her head, she could almost hear their voices. Percy's lip began to lightly tremble, her hands flew to her ears trying to block out the pained cries that rang in her head, the cries that shattered her heart when she heard them in real life; her mother's weeping from the opposite side of the door after Gabe had been particularly upset, the broken shriek Percy's lover let out as her life was drained, the angered shouts her first step-dad had aimed at the ravenette at only ten, the wails of pain as each of the people she'd valued most had slipped through her fingers into the endless abyss that is the afterlife.

Soon enough, the painted bawling was no longer just inside of Percy's head. Disorientedly, Percy stood from the bed dragging her shaking form into an emptier corner of her closet where she soon collapsed into herself. Closing the door, the let the darkness consume her, if she couldn't she herself she couldn't hate herself, right? Her legs were tucked into yet another large black hoodie and her forehead was resting on her knees, arms wrapped around herself, she let out her emotions in the safety of her makeshift confinement.

It started out as a whimper as she let the salty tears run down her face, the droplets tracing the hollows of her face, the weight of that water re enforcing Percy's thoughts that she was never worth it. Each tear was a reminder that Persephone could never live up to her expectations, she would never be able to make up for what the world lost when it lost the Seven. No incredible buildings from Annabeth, no more blue cookies from Sally, nobody to lighten the mood when things got gloomy, no defied beauty standards, no more head injuries, no more jewels leading the way, no more under pressure coy fish. Nobody. The world had lost many great lives, but so had Percy. Percy had felt their loss, she grieved, she had to mend herself up, and never did she receive any help from the world. She'd lived through hell only to pop up in a different one.

Sobs wracked her body, her small, fragile frame shaking with every ragged breath. Her chest rising and falling patternless, her lungs desperate for air, yet feeling undeserving of it. After a while of this unparalleled torture, she got her breathing under control and wiped her tears away, her fingertips feeling the groove under her eye's caused by her erratic sleep patterns. Percy stood up shakily and blindly searched for the doorknob in the dark closet. As she opened the door, light began to pour in. The light was not much, reflections of moonlight from her window, but it was enough for Persephone to see her reflection on the mirror attached to the door. As she looked into the mirror, she pulled back the cloth of her sweater, watching as the fabric now molded to every curve on her midsection, what she saw she was not happy with she looked small and weak, underfed and defenceless. She was trying, she really was, but it felt so difficult to want to continue on the right path when she could see no difference. The voice in her head told her she would never make it, she would never be enough, the voice hid behind the sound of Annabeth's melodic voice, making Percy want to blindly trust the voice. Still, she let go of the bunched up fabric and walked back towards her bed, laying in it and spending the rest of the night playing music and staring blankly at the ceiling.

Music was Percy's escape. It was her way to avoid the self hating thoughts that plagued her mind when it sat idle. Music blocked those thoughts out. Music had also blocked out the bottles shattering against the walls when Smelly Gabe brought friends over during her youth. Music was her safe space. Music was Percy's savior, it was her way to keep sane despite the madness that takes place in her life.

While it may not have seemed like it, Percy was doing better. She was doing better because now she was trying.

I do not own Percy Jackson or any batman content.

p.s. This was very much so a filler. The song above has nothing to do with the chapter, but it's one of those songs to cry to. It's funny how I mirror my issues onto Percy when I look in the mirror I feel the opposite of what I described. I'm sorry about this, I have no idea what's going on anymore. I want to thank you all, you guys are the best readers that I could have possibly asked for and thank you.

Anyways, I want to know how you guys are feeling. How are you doing? Please remember that if you ever need to talk about anything at all, I'm usually available and more than happy to talk with you.

I love you all.

Much love, Victoria <3