you have nothing to be ashamed of (tsukkiyama fic)

story time

ik i haven't used this acc since middle school and don't update like anything alksdjfls but i love this ship and love haikyuu now so 

here is the start of my short tsukkiyama story :)

should i continue this? pop off in the comments and lmk 

Yamaguchi watched the ball in the air, waiting for the split second that would make - or break - his serve. He finally hit it, feeling the aftermath of the hit throughout his body. He watched it, but as soon as it left his fingertips he already knew it was going to fail. His timing was off, his pressure was okay at best, and his mental state was beyond exhausted. 

The ball hit the net, and bounced off the hardwood floor. The sound echoed through the empty gym, mocking him. He sighed and decided to clean up. When Daichi noticed him staying behind with Hinata and Kageyama to train, he was shocked, and even more so were Hinata and Kageyama when he stayed behind them. He checked the time on his phone, it was 10:00 pm. Time to head back. 

After cleaning up, he slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out, and jumped when he heard "Yo." His heart pounded at the shock, and he turned to the voice he recognized oh so well. Tsukkishima was leaning onto the wall of the gym, typing something on his phone and stood up to walk by Yamaguchi when he saw him. 

Yamaguchi touched his heart that was still racing, but smiled, "Tsukki! You waited for me!" 

Tsukkishima looked to the side, shrugging. "Yeah. It's no big deal,  I was just on my phone." Yamaguchi couldn't hide the wide, goofy smile on his face. Tsukki never showed him conventional care, but these moments were what made him love him so much. He always showed he cared in much more meaningful, lovely ways than most. 

Yamaguchi hummed to himself as they walked away from the gym, quite happy that his best friend had waited for him. They often walked in comfortable silence, Tsukkishima wasn't the talkative type. He was a little surprised when Tsukkishima broke the silence asking, "So, why were you training so late?" 

The comfortable silence quickly vanished, and Yamaguchi immediately tensed. He felt like his light mood had been disrupted all too easily. He knew that he'd lectured Tsukkishima about not giving up and about his own talent many times. He didn't want to show that he was getting discouraged, but looking up at the tall, intimidating male made his faults seem that much more demeaning. 

Yamaguchi sheepishly scratched the back of his neck and smiled, but was unable to meet Tsukkishima's eyes. "I just... Wanted some extra practice. I'm getting hyped for the next game!" He flinched when he heard Tsukkishima click his tongue in disapproval. "Tch." 

Tsukkishima suddenly grabbed him by his shirt collar and pushed him against the wall of the building they were passing. Yamaguchi let out a startled gasp as the air got pushed out of his body and he was slammed onto the wall. Tsukkishima glared at him, a wide scowl on his face. "Stupid. You've always been a terrible liar. You're doubting yourself, right?" 

Yamaguchi felt ashamed that everything he was saying was true. He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving the floor. He wanted to be honest now, he knew he owed it to Tsukki. He finally spoke, in a barely audible whisper: "Tsukki... I'm just not as good as everyone else. I never will be. I keep trying so hard and waiting for my chance to be on court, but I know that I'll let everyone down. I don't want to but I can't control it and-" His voice cut off and tears began rolling down his freckled cheeks. He finally looked up at Tsukkishima, trying desperately to wipe his tears off his face. Maybe if he could stop crying, he could feel better. "I just want to help everyone else, but I can't even do that.."

Tsukkishima blinked, staring at the tears falling from Yamaguchi's eyes. His fist against the wall tightened and he muttered a string of curse words. With his other hand, he wiped away Yamaguchi's tears with a more gentle touch than Yamaguchi would ever expect from the often gruff male.  

"Stop. You are perfect." 

Yamaguchi's eyes widened in shock and confusion, and he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. 

Tsukkishima continued, rambling in a way that almost made it seem like he was talking to himself. "You motivate the entire team, and are there when we all feel hopeless. You're always cheering us on. You do so fucking much Tadashi. I can't imagine the team without you. No, I can't imagine myself without you." When he spoke, it was as if he'd been mulling over these thoughts for so long they were exhausting him. 

Yamaguchi looked shocked at the use of his first name. He was so confused by this side of Tsukki, one he'd never seen before. Tsukkishima's cheeks turned slightly red and he reverted back to his normal self. With a rough but also embarrassed tone he said, "Say something." 

He began to move away from the green-haired cutie under him in defeat when no words left Yamaguchi's lips, but was held back by arms suddenly wrapping around him. He looked down, and his harsh look faltered at the sight of Yamaguchi crying onto his chest, fresh tears getting his shirt wet. Yamaguchi smiled and looked into Tsukkishima's eyes, "I love you so much Tsukki!"

Tsukkishima visibly turned a bright shade of red, taking a couple moments before finally wrapping his hands around Yamaguchi and sighing. "I love you too, idiot." 

They stayed like that for another hour. 

-- 

okay ik that was trash i'm a p bad writer but like should i continue it anyway cause it's low key fun to write lol  

anyway lmk ;)