When The Sun Came Up, You Were Gone

Losing Him Soon(4)

Dominic's POV

"I'll be back," I pushed past my mom, heading for my car. Everyday I go to see Noah. I get anxious whenever my parents are off schedule and I tend to stay at the hospital for a long time. Yesterday I came back around 3 in the morning. Noah was asleep by 1 but I just felt the need to stay.

Like any disease that's untreated, Noah was getting worse. There were days he could barely speak since he was either coughing up blood or vomiting. Other days he just slept. No matter what, I was there. Even if I didn't speak to him, I just wanted to be near him... hold his hand sometimes. He was becoming paler, skinner and weaker. Soon he won't be able to lift a spoon to his mouth.

Pulling into the visitor section, I rush inside as usual. It's ten-twenty right now so I would have a lot of time with him. When I entered, Noah was writing in the journal I made him. He seemed to really like it, which meant the world to me, "I see you're feeling better today. No puking? Blood?"

"There's always a bit of that," he closed the book and placed it underneath his pillow, "how was school?"

I took off my sweater. I hate spring sometimes. One day it's cold the next day it's hot, but in Noah's room you could see the hospital garden. He tends to stare at it, looking like some character in a sad movie film, "Same thing as always. Just work and boring teachers." He shook his head my response, making me grin a bit. Taking my hand, he placed it in his lap. Lately he's been doing this. At first it made me anxious but now... it's weird if he doesn't, "I can bring you whatever snack you want tomorrow."

"Oooh, can I have a dove candy?" Though he was dim and gloomy, his smile was still bright, "Just one though. My stomach hasn't been too good at holding stuff right now. Even bread doesn't seem to do it." I had to hold back from frowning. Noah is always happy, even when he's in pain. He'll try to console everyone as he has tears running down his face, because his nerves are on fire. He leans back against the bed frame, closing his eyes, "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

"Huh?"

"Have you kissed anyone?" He repeated, "I wonder... is it nice?"

He looked fine, well as fine as he can get. I was curious about his question. Why did he want to know something so trivial as that? "I have... it's... well sometimes it's nice. Other times it feels like some wet thing is invading my mouth," I joke, "but it really depends on who you're doing that with."

"Mhm," he took a deep breath, his hands shaking a bit, "it's sad that I'll never experience that."

I could never tell him, but his words always made me want to do something. Be it yell, scream, flip or break something. They just struck a cord that fueled my anger. Grasping his hand even tighter, I try to ignore the pain of knowing he is missing out so much. How his whole life is stripped from him... a human that is just so good.

After he falls asleep, I stay a couple of hours. Holding his hand and just crying silently into it. I thought watching my sister live the way she does was the hardest thing I would ever deal with... it was nothing compared to this. One day he won't be laying in this bed. He won't be at home, chilling in his fort. He won't be at school, bored from Mr. Christian's lessons. He'll be in a jar and soon released to the ocean.

I'll never have the chance to hold his hand anymore.

Just like he won't have the chance to find someone he loves.

No longer able to handle it, I leave the hospital and pull out my phone. A couple rings later, Shawn's voice comes in, "Hello?"

"I'm going to be there in five minutes.... I don't know what I'm going to do."