cool kids ∙ m z

eighteen; erupt

Maddie-

After four hours of laying on my bed drowning myself in alcohol and mystery pills, I was blasting music and laying on my bed tracing my hair with my shaking fingers.

I was really hating my mom right now, but then I decided it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered. There were only so many things she could do to me that she didn't already do and none of them could be worse then what I did to myself.

So I searched my room to look for my phone and call up Josh, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I threw pillows around and I couldn't find it. I soon went into panic mode, and I turned off the music and shoved things off my shelves and burst into tears. I didn't know why I was crying over my stupid phone, but soon I was wandering aimlessly around my room.

My vision was blurry from tears and my throat burned and soon my vision went black and I collapsed.

-

I awoke to the sound of my alarm on my stereo, the alternative rock station blasting at 6:00 sharp.

I was laying next to my bed on some pillows still in the same clothes, makeup, and regret as yesterday.

I got up slowly and walked to my bathroom and scrubbed my eyes clean of last night's makeup. I took of last night's clothes and took a quick shower.

I blow dried my hair and by then it was 6:30 and I was still quite hungover. I snatched the Advil off my shelf and shoveled a few into my mouth.

I rubbed lotion all over my arms and legs to get rid of any lingering smells from the previous night.

My hair looked presentable, it fell past my shoulders straight and layered. I did my makeup, and put on a grey flowy shirt and a pair of jeans, and finished it with a gold necklace Kenzie got me for my 13th birthday.

I brushed my teeth and cleaned my room up a little bit, and then sprayed my expensive perfume all over the room and myself.

The room looked and smelled good and I reached for my phone but realized it still wasn't there.

I couldn't recall where I left it and it was scaring me.

I walked out of the room slowly at first, wondering what kind of mood my mom was in. I could hear her downstairs with Kenzie and they laughed and I sighed a sigh of relief.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Kenzie sat at the kitchen island eating cereal and mom was washing her hands. I stood at the door and looked in.

"Hi." I said.

Mom and Kenzie didn't stop what they were doing. In fact, they hardly acknowledged my existence. I rolled my eyes and opened the fridge to grab my lunch from inside.

I exited the kitchen and stuffed my lunch in my bag, and laced up a pair of converse. I'd walk to school if I had to.

It was 7:00, and school didn't start until 8. So after waiting for a moment, I went upstairs and grabbed the plastic bag filled with pills and a water bottle of vodka and headed out.

It was a half an hour walk to school, I wasn't exactly close. So by the time I finally got there, my hair was wind blown and I wished I brought a jacket.

I walked to my locker disregarding everyone, wishing I knew where my phone was. I unlocked it and was greeted by Chloe.

"Why didn't you text us back last night?" She exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut.

"I lost my phone," I grumbled.

"Oh. So you didn't hear about the plan we made to take down Kendall?" Chloe asked and Paige appeared next to her.