Some people see things in others that they can't see for themselves and you see me. As I'm suffocating and asking myself, do I matter? Am I just a waste of fucking oxygen? You…. you over here saying how I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. Who do I believe? you, or this voice inside my head putting me down every chance that it gets. I’m broken I’m hurt but behind all that behind all of my flaws and insecurities you see me and you love me with everything in you.
Why? Does my self hate somehow make you feel better about yourself? Or am I just another charity work for your ego. Some nights I feel so close to figuring it out so close to some epiphany that will someday somehow make all of this suffering make sense. I feel numb, numb to feelings and emotions, as I'm trying to love myself, I have to love you in the process I’m drained. I’m lost in my thoughts I’m losing my mind, should I give in? should I allow myself to feel? What's so bad about being loved and loving someone am I also not capable of doing that? You look at me like I’m the most beautiful girl you ever set your eyes on, the way they expand everytime I walk in a room. What is it about me that attracts you? I’ve given you every reason to stop loving me but now I’m starting to think that even you can't stop it.
I feel myself wanting you, I crave you as if I already had you. I have a desire for every inch of you, as if our love was already written in the stars. How did we get here? Maybe I’m dreaming. Is this my karma? I can’t love you, I can’t feel this way. Have these feelings been here all along? What do I do now? I guess it wouldn't be bad to finally give myself to someone. I love you! I always have, but I’m scared, scared to feel again. I don’t deserve you
