Don't fall in love again

After a year of being trapped on that ship Nagisa had given Rei the the final piece, the last of what he needed to get home. After a lonely trip Rei landed and was greeted with astonishment beyond belief "we thought you were dead" they all said. Rei despite being home felt as if he was dead, felt more lost than before because when they found the Nagisa that Rei had created on the ship they had taken him away, said the technology was not full proof enough, said they needed to examine it further. Rei cried the whole way. His sanity for that long year had been stripped away more throughly than the months of madness it took to create his Nagisa. All the nights spent replicating the most beautiful face Rei had ever seen had been stolen away. Yes Rei felt dead, the only measure of comfort was the thought of seeing his real Nagisa soon.

Each friend visited him separately. First it was Makoto the kind fireman. He told Rei how brave he thought he was. Patted him on the back for his achievements. Congratulated Rei as if he was a real hero. Stressed the fact that he could call him at any time. Rei asked the fireman about Nagisa, surely he would know him since Nagisa was there for a few of the fires Rei's experiments had started. The fireman didn't answer, just smiled after recovering from initial shock, before saying he had to go, claiming his shift started soon. Rei did not question him. Why would he, Makoto had always been kind.

Next was Rin a cop who Rei had met through Nagisa. He could be brash at times but Rei was glad to see him. They both had a real sense of justice. Rei felt more assured when Rin walked into the room a half smile, a typical "long time no see" as the red head's first greeting. Rei laughed lightly, letting Rin's sense of humor lighten the mood. They talked about small things, unimportant things, till Gou showed up, she asked along side with Rin what space was like. Rei told them of all the beautiful things he had seen, feeling light and airy. When he was finished talking about all the wonders he had experienced he missed Nagisa. Surely the blond would love to hear these stories, and so he asked them about Nagisa as he had asked Makoto before. Gou stood suddenly looking close to tears and Rin turned to Rei, muttering an excuse about how Gou must've been holding tears back since she arrived and that's why she was crying then added the same excuse as makoto that he had to rush to work now and drive Gou home on his way. Even though he knew he should Rei didn't question it, more like he didn't want to despite knowing that Gou had driven herself and he saw them both with car keys.

Sosuke called Rei a few days later told him he'd come visit soon, his voice sounded gravely and rough with sadness after Rei asked about Nagisa, there was no visit. Rei tried not to be upset Nagisa was hardly able to crack the tough cops outer shell. Rei pretended he didn't hear the sadness. It was better that way.

Finally a month after he had been home Haru who was the chef at Nagisas favorite restaurant, someone who adored Nagisa almost as much as Rei even though he would never say it came. Rei smiled, ate the cake Haru had brought, it was Nagisa's favorite flavor, and before Rei could ask about Nagisa like he always did, Haru cut him off placed a hand on his shoulder and said "he went to see you rei". Rei, for the first time in a long time, was confused. What could Haru mean but the dark haired man in front of him wasn't finished "but there was a mistake, a bolt wasn't screwed tight enough, the jets Rei...they were built quickly the quality wasn't" and Rei knew, knew by the look on Haru's face exactly what happened, but he couldn't believe it no, his Nagisa was not put up in the rocket Rei had told them would explode, how could they do that. Rei knew Nagisa was persistent though he probably fought his way into the rocket. "he's dead Rei, they never should have launched it, Nagisa knew they shouldn't have launched it but he couldn't be without you" yes Rei felt dead but his heart was ice cold he was surviving he needed answers and as he said "when?" Haru wasn't even surprised "a week before you landed home". At that Rei sobbed, he sobbed because he knew he could have been home weeks earlier, but he was clinging so tight to the Nagisa he had created

And now he had neither,
Now he was truly alone.