Ride (Or Die) Lana Del Rey X Jax Teller

8.Dark paradise

Lana's pov

I wake up at 9 am. Alone.
I don't even check my phone;
I don't feel like talking to anyone.
My head is clearer now and not hurting anymore, let's try to keep it that way.
I keep thinking of Jim and how much I miss him. Does he really not want me anymore?

I make myself some coffee and go out on the porch.
The view is so calming.

Without realizing my mind wanders back to the moment that me and Jax shared last night. I don't feel as guilty anymore...

And I don't feel like leaving the cabin. It gives off such a homey vibe.

The sound of an engine keeps getting closer and before I know it Jax parks his bike. He spots me and comes smiling but frowns as he sees my facial expression.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

I was fine until he spoke. But as soon as he asked me what happened I burst into tears.

He squats down to my level and puts his hands on my head.

"Hey...what happened?"

I hug him and I cry for a couple of minutes. He just holds me and calmly plays with my hair until I manage to pull myself together. I look at him and he seems so concerned.

I pull out another cigarette from my pack and he lights it for me.
I start smoking while staring off into the distance, with him still looking at me in confusion.

"Jim and I broke up."

"What? When?"

I take my pack of cigarettes and start playing with it on the table.

"Last night after you left." I look at him and he still looks just as confused.
"Long story short he was cheating on me and planing to dump me after we got back home."

We sit in silence for a bit.

"How did you find out?"

"Tried to take his phone and accidentally played some voice message from a chick saying she can't wait for him to get home and break up with 'the clingy bitch'."

He looks at me for a moment.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too...almost five years of relationship thrown out the window."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I have no idea. I need to think but I still can't."

"Look, I have to go visit Abel at the hospital. He's done with all of his surgeries; the doctors said that if he keeps healing at the rate he's been I can take him home in 2 weeks. Come with. Take your mind off of this for a bit."

"I don't know..."

"Come on. It'll be good for you." He grabs my hand and lifts me off the chair.

He gives me his helmet and we get on the bike.
He rides off, but not as aggressively as last time. It's like he's trying to comfort me.
I hug him and rest my cheek on his shoulder.

"You can stay at the cabin for as long as you want. You don't have to leave today."

"Really?" I ask with enthusiasm, but my mood quickly changes "I don't know...I think I'd get lonely..."

He thinks for a moment.

"I could also come stay up there if it would make you feel better. It makes no difference to me that I'm in town or here."

I would actually love that...but it feels rushed.
Why tho?
Its not like I'm emotionally available right now. And getting into a relationship with a complicated guy is not what I need, and he's a father too. I need to focus on myself and my career.