Downward Spiral (Izuocha)

Chapter 4 They all spoke the truth

Midoriya P.O.V

I reached my hand for my doorknob only to stop midway. You could have hurt her and probably scared her, she doesn't want to see you. Then again, she was able to help me before. I took so long to make up my mind that I could finally hear her muffled voice through the door."Deku, I want to speak to you and see you. I want to make sure you are okay, it isn't your fault what happened today, you need to understand that." But it is my fault, it was because I am useless, just like they all said before.

I opened the door as to not disappoint her, she had made the effort to show up, and I don't want to be rude to my friend. But that was all we could ever be. She would never want to even consider a date with you. You are so weak and useless. I had realized that I wanted to be closer, and as I let her into my room those voices repeated the key words that would stick to me and become a part of me. Useless, Weak, Ugly, Disappointment. All that was stopped as soon as I saw her open her mouth to say something as she had sat in my desk chair.

"Deku, today, it wasn-" "Yes it was, Uraraka. I was so angry, and all the pain that came with it, I deserved it. And if it weren't for you..... I am not strong enough." I interrupted her, as I knew that her words would be futile as she tried to convince me. But of course, that didn't stop her. "Neither of us knows what it was Deku, and no decent person deserves pain, especially if they are as amazing as you. You don't have to be alone, we can figure it out and you ARE strong." But her kind words seemed to just continue their path through and out my ears, as they had little to no effect.

I didn't want her to worry for me, I would just be a burden, so instead of just telling her about the echoing voices in my head, I just nodded, and let out a small "Thank you", but I must have appeared hurt, so she jolted up and decided to hug me, and I returned the embrace. This does fill nice, but it is out of pity. She is too kind. My cheeks heated up for a small bit until the voices returned stronger. I let her go and she exited my All Might packed room, only for me to lay down in my bed facing my pillow and let the tears I had held since she entered the room flow. I didn't realize it then, but I cried until 1 am until I had fallen asleep in my damp pillow while letting the voices speak the truth. And it wouldn't be the last time that this would happen, and nightmares would accompany the voices of truth in my sleep.

Ochako P.O.V.

I left his room unsatisfied, as I knew that he was slightly broken, and he would not get better alone, so I decided to tell Iida and Todoroki about this, since I knew that they would understand. "Just be sure to support him and make him fill better. He really appreciates you both." They both just nodded in response and after that, we all went to our rooms and in a few hours, I fell asleep, still concerned about the green emerald eyes that had once been filled with determination now just showed sorrow and guilt.

Third person P.O.V.

The next morning, the greenette had woken up to the sound of his alarm to train on Saturday at the same time the rest of his class would wake up for a normal day of school. The small amount of shut eye had given him a bit of a dark circles under his eyes, but nothing out of the ordinary. He thought that his training would distract him from his thoughts and help him improve, but he was dead wrong. 

Being alone left him time to process his thoughts, as the exercises his mentor left him were so familiar, could let the voices make more of a mark in his head, and not only that, but his already speeding mind would not be in his favor. I can't ask All Might about the tentacles, he is doing important things. I would just be disturbing him, becoming a burden, just like I already am to Uraraka, even though she says she is my friend. But Kacchan was right, I really am just Deku, useless. I can't do it. I am a disappointment as a One For All user, I don't deserve this. This is all my fault.

His thoughts only stopped as he had finished his training and walked into Heights Alliance, being greeted by a red and white pile of hair sitting in the couch sipping some tea. "Oh, hey Todoroki, you are up early" "I know, I normally wake up before everyone....... Did you sleep well?" Midoriya was taken back by this question and didn't know how to answer or how he notice. The last thing he wanted was being a burden to yet another person. "It's because of the small bags under your eyes." "Oh y-yeah, don't worry, I just came back from training and woke up quite early, a shower should be enough." he said with a fake smile trying to convince his cold headed friend. He just nodded in response and the rest of the morning went uneventful.

As lunch time arrived, Midoriya was sitting next to Iida and in front of Uraraka, with a fake smile trying to follow the conversation. It seemed so genuine as he was actually a master at it, due to all those years in middle school that he had to stay strong for his mother's sake. It was as if he could hide in plain sight, and not even Uraraka could notice the difference at first, but she didn't understand the sudden change of mood. But she would realize the subtle hints a bit too late.

Heyoo. Another chapter done and I am slowly going down the spiral. The training thing was actually something that I went through, however, I want to state that as chapters get darker, you should still remember that you are loved and cared for. Also, happy friend day, as it is a way to also commemorate the moon landing. If you feel like you have no friends, you can speak to me, I am always open. I may do double uploads as this everyday upload train may stop in the near future and I like the progress too much. Either way, until tomorrow, and have a wonderful 24 hrs.